Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Such a put off
This was in my mind the whole time when i was in sch 2day..... There's definitely someting wrong with my face..... Its that natural expression that I wear everyday and every min.... Its like my default expression is grouchy and grumpy.... And it kinda gives pple the 1st impression that I'm unfriendly or hostile.... Definitely works against me, coz pple wun even feel like continuing a conversation with me~~~ This added to the fact that I'm not dat good a conversationalist with new pple, juz makes me a less approachable person.
Not that its anything bad, coz I realised last sem that this kinda filtered out some unwanted elements in my life. Some "leachers" never ever asked me any academic stuff(ok, maybe its juz coz I dun look studious enuff), whereas my frnd who took the exact same combi of units was constantly hounded by them. So it does help to some degree of superficiality that I personally associate with "hi-bye" acquaintances. But the flip side is that this default expression of mine is quite a burden when it comes to making new frnds. It dawned upon me that I shdnt look at eye-candies in sch too much, coz they'll prob be thinking "why the hell is that jerk giving me such a hostile look!? I din offend him!? NutCase!". So in the end, it juz eliminates any chances of me even knowing any eye-candy. haha! Not that it really matters, but its juz a tot, which is quite true. I wun stand a chance if I ever try to pick up any gir(most of u noe I wun, juz not me)who catches my fancy. argh!!!!
Am I gonna change...? Nay, not anytime soon.... I'll smile when I want to, when I feel like it, otherwise its juz the default face thats gonna be shown to the world~~~ and naturally, it wun affect my frnds, since they'd know that this is juz me, being who I am. 1st impressions usually fade when u get to know a person. For now, there's really nothing that makes me wanna change.... noting strong enuff at least....
& mid sems approaching.... Wed & Thurs.... yet I dun feel any sense of urgency.... Panic did set in for a few mins, but soon after I managed to suppress it somehow.... Its this "heck care" attitude of mine these days..... Not sure why its back again tho.... I tot I had left it behind after entering army and coming into Uni. Perhaps theres some void in my life, so The
Attitude is juz filling up that space.... or maybe I'm juz lacking determination this sem..... watever that case, nothing much i can do now.... too late....
To all my frnds in S'pore, glad some of u in SMU finished exams. Enjoy the break~~ Those in NTU NUS SIM whose exams are approaching, or are halfway thru it, hang in there~~ esp the guys, coz there's still reservist!! those who are not studying for the moment, try not to lament about how boring working life is.... Its gonna get worse, so juz make the best of it... Life only gets worse if u think the future gonna be better, coz u're juz having too high an expectation~~~
Not that its anything bad, coz I realised last sem that this kinda filtered out some unwanted elements in my life. Some "leachers" never ever asked me any academic stuff(ok, maybe its juz coz I dun look studious enuff), whereas my frnd who took the exact same combi of units was constantly hounded by them. So it does help to some degree of superficiality that I personally associate with "hi-bye" acquaintances. But the flip side is that this default expression of mine is quite a burden when it comes to making new frnds. It dawned upon me that I shdnt look at eye-candies in sch too much, coz they'll prob be thinking "why the hell is that jerk giving me such a hostile look!? I din offend him!? NutCase!". So in the end, it juz eliminates any chances of me even knowing any eye-candy. haha! Not that it really matters, but its juz a tot, which is quite true. I wun stand a chance if I ever try to pick up any gir(most of u noe I wun, juz not me)who catches my fancy. argh!!!!
Am I gonna change...? Nay, not anytime soon.... I'll smile when I want to, when I feel like it, otherwise its juz the default face thats gonna be shown to the world~~~ and naturally, it wun affect my frnds, since they'd know that this is juz me, being who I am. 1st impressions usually fade when u get to know a person. For now, there's really nothing that makes me wanna change.... noting strong enuff at least....
& mid sems approaching.... Wed & Thurs.... yet I dun feel any sense of urgency.... Panic did set in for a few mins, but soon after I managed to suppress it somehow.... Its this "heck care" attitude of mine these days..... Not sure why its back again tho.... I tot I had left it behind after entering army and coming into Uni. Perhaps theres some void in my life, so The
Attitude is juz filling up that space.... or maybe I'm juz lacking determination this sem..... watever that case, nothing much i can do now.... too late....
To all my frnds in S'pore, glad some of u in SMU finished exams. Enjoy the break~~ Those in NTU NUS SIM whose exams are approaching, or are halfway thru it, hang in there~~ esp the guys, coz there's still reservist!! those who are not studying for the moment, try not to lament about how boring working life is.... Its gonna get worse, so juz make the best of it... Life only gets worse if u think the future gonna be better, coz u're juz having too high an expectation~~~
# posted by emoboy @ 4/20/2004 01:35:00 pm
