Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Incoherent Tots..........
This isnt gonna make any sense... but its my blog, so I can do wat I wan, ====>>
This has been in my head for the past few days.... Its probably normal..... but then again, maybe I'm paranoid.... all of a sudden, I'm starting to miss Singapore.... U might think its weird, coz din this guy once said before he left for Perth that he's not 1 who'd be home sick dat easily... That was true, coz every time I've been away from home, be it when i was in the army(2.5yrs), overseas military exercises(3Xs), or juz long trips abroad, the tot of home being the place I wanna be nv crossed my mind.
It's not that I love travelling, or I enjoyed military training, but its juz dat home was nv at the back of my mind. I was either enjoying my hols, or juz sick of the torture I was suffering from, but nv once was it because i missed home.... prob for the 1st time, I started to feel that I dun belong here.... Perth.... juz seems like a place that I'll be stuck in for another 2yrs....
Somehow I have thi feeling that I'm getting sick of this place, but its only been less than 1yr, so am I really in the position to say that?? There should be more crap out there that I've yet to experience.... Perhaps its juz all the frnds that I have back home, family, memories, and all the time I've spent growing there.....
Its not like I'm totally alone out here in perth w/o frnds, but I'm not with too much company either.... This is 1 thing I've yet to adapt to, and something my frnds still dun really comprehend.... My problem with acquaintances..... Despite how hostile and unfriendly I may look, making and meeting new frnds isnt such a repulsive thing to me... but I still hate making too many hi-bye frnds.... The reason being, sometimes I'm juz not in the mood to bother greeting pple, yet because of the fact that I somehow noe this person, I gotta say "hi" coz I'm not close enuff wanna let him/her noe I'm feeling lousy..........
hhmm... I think I prob lost some of u somewhere, but the pt is, sometimes I juz hate to make the effort to make small talk.... I'm fine with chatting with new frnds, or acquaintances, coz u gotta start somewhere right? & from there perhaps develop a stronger frnship. Yet ther are times when i wanna be left alone, when I only wan my inner circle of frnds there, when I'm really sick of things, and need to let off some steam....Dun u have that feeling too?? Yar, u can tell me that I can do wat I wan, and not bother about pple, but then later, pple(ie acquaitances) would come asking wats wrong. & I dun wanna justify myself, and soon or later, they'll juz think I have attitude... seriously, some pple already have that impression of me..... which is probably why pple rarely even bother to try to tok to me.... Its my face i tell u, that wadda-hell-u-want-with-me face.....
aiya... think I'm not making sense..... but dun care la..... life still goes on, the feeling will pass, still gotta carry on studying, and exams will come.... someday I might juz turn my back on civilisation and be a hermit... perhapsperhapsperhaps....
This has been in my head for the past few days.... Its probably normal..... but then again, maybe I'm paranoid.... all of a sudden, I'm starting to miss Singapore.... U might think its weird, coz din this guy once said before he left for Perth that he's not 1 who'd be home sick dat easily... That was true, coz every time I've been away from home, be it when i was in the army(2.5yrs), overseas military exercises(3Xs), or juz long trips abroad, the tot of home being the place I wanna be nv crossed my mind.
It's not that I love travelling, or I enjoyed military training, but its juz dat home was nv at the back of my mind. I was either enjoying my hols, or juz sick of the torture I was suffering from, but nv once was it because i missed home.... prob for the 1st time, I started to feel that I dun belong here.... Perth.... juz seems like a place that I'll be stuck in for another 2yrs....
Somehow I have thi feeling that I'm getting sick of this place, but its only been less than 1yr, so am I really in the position to say that?? There should be more crap out there that I've yet to experience.... Perhaps its juz all the frnds that I have back home, family, memories, and all the time I've spent growing there.....
Its not like I'm totally alone out here in perth w/o frnds, but I'm not with too much company either.... This is 1 thing I've yet to adapt to, and something my frnds still dun really comprehend.... My problem with acquaintances..... Despite how hostile and unfriendly I may look, making and meeting new frnds isnt such a repulsive thing to me... but I still hate making too many hi-bye frnds.... The reason being, sometimes I'm juz not in the mood to bother greeting pple, yet because of the fact that I somehow noe this person, I gotta say "hi" coz I'm not close enuff wanna let him/her noe I'm feeling lousy..........
hhmm... I think I prob lost some of u somewhere, but the pt is, sometimes I juz hate to make the effort to make small talk.... I'm fine with chatting with new frnds, or acquaintances, coz u gotta start somewhere right? & from there perhaps develop a stronger frnship. Yet ther are times when i wanna be left alone, when I only wan my inner circle of frnds there, when I'm really sick of things, and need to let off some steam....Dun u have that feeling too?? Yar, u can tell me that I can do wat I wan, and not bother about pple, but then later, pple(ie acquaitances) would come asking wats wrong. & I dun wanna justify myself, and soon or later, they'll juz think I have attitude... seriously, some pple already have that impression of me..... which is probably why pple rarely even bother to try to tok to me.... Its my face i tell u, that wadda-hell-u-want-with-me face.....
aiya... think I'm not making sense..... but dun care la..... life still goes on, the feeling will pass, still gotta carry on studying, and exams will come.... someday I might juz turn my back on civilisation and be a hermit... perhapsperhapsperhaps....
# posted by emoboy @ 4/13/2004 06:36:00 pm
