Wednesday, June 16, 2004
no wonder.....
Now I know why I haven been able to blog about anything interesting or tot-provoking....
Its coz.....
Not dat it's anything surprising aye.... I've been a lazy bumming complacent slacker (yes, I'm reiterating, emphasising, restating, repeating.... in case u dun get me...) most of my life. "Not all??" you say... well, not all, few yrs ago, I was quite a driven workaholic for some unknown reasons even to myself. anw, thats besides the point.
I actually do have issues and stuff that I feel strongly about... And before u go "wat kinda issues would u have?? Gotta be joking rite", I'm not kidding. Not mundane things like the eye candies I've seen, or gossips, or even whining about life...
Even tho I wanna write about it, moreoften than not, I end up chucking it aside. It's like a flashing moment of mental chaos and intellectual stimuli, and then its back to accepting life as it seems.....
You know how sometimes, at the moment, u feel strongly about something, but when u turn ur back, it juz doesnt seem that significant anymore?? Everything juz seems like a load of crap, and u go on dragging ur feet to get through life...
That isnt very good... Somehow I feel its gonna kill my brain... I've realised that my brain doesnt seem 2b as active as it was 7-8 yrs ago.... Perhaps its because during those adolescent years, one wuold tend to ponder over many things? Or maybe its juz dat I'm really really brain-lazy rite now...
Even worse would be that I've become a stubborn adult who believes that he's figured it all out, and has attained a level of maturity to judge pple. Everything juz seems lowly inferior to me?? I hope not, coz self-righteousness is too dangerous and isolating for any individual, esp for me....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Something else I'd like to share. My mom called and actually told me I could go home if I wanted to, and she'll sponsor. However, it seemed more like a half-hearted offer than a sincere and motherly gesture . This was coz she later added that it does seem kinda troublesome and pointless for me to go back, esp since the house is under renovation(upgrading by HDB)... urgh...
I tot over it, and decided that its best I dun fly home for the upcoming hols, altho my heart really longs for it. I'm prob gonna spend more $$ back home when I'm busy meeting up with frnds. On top of that, I still have2 pay the empty rent here.... & I did tell myself that I'd fly back this hols if the budget airline was up, so since its still in process, prob juz means I shdnt fly home.
Thats a confirmation, Adrian's only gonna be home at the end of the yr. For those frnds who are really irritated by my presence, you shd be glad?? hahaha
Its coz.....
I AM LAZY!!! LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY!!!
Not dat it's anything surprising aye.... I've been a lazy bumming complacent slacker (yes, I'm reiterating, emphasising, restating, repeating.... in case u dun get me...) most of my life. "Not all??" you say... well, not all, few yrs ago, I was quite a driven workaholic for some unknown reasons even to myself. anw, thats besides the point.
I actually do have issues and stuff that I feel strongly about... And before u go "wat kinda issues would u have?? Gotta be joking rite", I'm not kidding. Not mundane things like the eye candies I've seen, or gossips, or even whining about life...
Even tho I wanna write about it, moreoften than not, I end up chucking it aside. It's like a flashing moment of mental chaos and intellectual stimuli, and then its back to accepting life as it seems.....
You know how sometimes, at the moment, u feel strongly about something, but when u turn ur back, it juz doesnt seem that significant anymore?? Everything juz seems like a load of crap, and u go on dragging ur feet to get through life...
That isnt very good... Somehow I feel its gonna kill my brain... I've realised that my brain doesnt seem 2b as active as it was 7-8 yrs ago.... Perhaps its because during those adolescent years, one wuold tend to ponder over many things? Or maybe its juz dat I'm really really brain-lazy rite now...
Even worse would be that I've become a stubborn adult who believes that he's figured it all out, and has attained a level of maturity to judge pple. Everything juz seems lowly inferior to me?? I hope not, coz self-righteousness is too dangerous and isolating for any individual, esp for me....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Something else I'd like to share. My mom called and actually told me I could go home if I wanted to, and she'll sponsor. However, it seemed more like a half-hearted offer than a sincere and motherly gesture . This was coz she later added that it does seem kinda troublesome and pointless for me to go back, esp since the house is under renovation(upgrading by HDB)... urgh...
I tot over it, and decided that its best I dun fly home for the upcoming hols, altho my heart really longs for it. I'm prob gonna spend more $$ back home when I'm busy meeting up with frnds. On top of that, I still have2 pay the empty rent here.... & I did tell myself that I'd fly back this hols if the budget airline was up, so since its still in process, prob juz means I shdnt fly home.
Thats a confirmation, Adrian's only gonna be home at the end of the yr. For those frnds who are really irritated by my presence, you shd be glad?? hahaha
# posted by emoboy @ 6/16/2004 11:47:00 pm
