Cubicle of the Mindless

Migration

2007-11-22T22:36:00.000+09:00

=====> GONE GONE GONE <=====

Gift to SAF

2007-07-22T17:19:00.000+08:00

Found it at BCF in Perth, probably normal outdoor camping accessory. 120 hours, 5 days. What a shocker.

For those who have had the privilege of using mozzy coils in their NSF days, the value packs from NTUC were such a time waster.

Idea for the next WITS or whatever that suggestion program thingy is called, all CQ should stockpile this.

tiny island

2007-06-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder when I feel depressed, alone & isolated
Is it all self inflicted, or am I just destined to suffer

The quick-fix diagnosis would be that I am in denial
that I am unable to admit my own shortcomings
that I have deeply unresolved issues

Seems to be the case most of the time
judging from all the too real for TV examples
Oprah's showing it to you, Dr P is psycho-analyzing it too

And I do hope it is
that somehow I am lacking in something
some absent trait that I can blame it on

Maybe I am not positive enough
or I am too emotional
perhaps even just plain juvenile

I am well aware of its' presence
that of which I have built over the years
of which I hope would be my castle

The bricks seem so hard
the water in the moat so cold
yet it is not what I desire

All is sufficient within the walls
but still tempted to peer beyond
looking for possibilities

The chance to lower it
for those who desire to understand
to explore within

I don't know

2007-01-18T22:28:00.000+09:00

nothing but silence.
so still & serene.
not a beat, not a breath.
feels normal, or just want it to.
something inside says its not.
what would you do?

Customer Service, ALL THE WAY

2006-12-09T16:49:00.000+09:00

Kena b4?? The worse I've ever experienced was trying to change my mobile phone plan. But they still stayed within limits.

juz another day

2006-08-09T21:28:00.000+08:00

Left work earlier today for my medical checkup. Din work less, just that worked an extra hour yesterday.

-Failed the urine test. Is that possible? What the heck. They say got traces of blood in the sample... Tell me to drink more water, and do a re-test when I'm back for my 2nd appt. Shit.. or shd I say piss.. ha ha ha.....

-From an Australian setting, is there such a thing as a racist Aboriginal??? There were these 2 teens at the Wellington station. Abor features, caucasian skin color, obviously mixed. Kept hurling racist words at an Afro-American / Black / Negro (whichever term seems more non-racist to you).

"YO, Black Thing" "Nigger".... I don't get it.... & they were giggling to themselves, the guy just ignored them. And I thought the aboriginals would understand the meaning of suppression and discrimination..

-Sat beside an interesting and weird guy. Just trying too hard to look cool perhaps. Hat made of some carpet looking material, odd looking jacket, jeans. n a brown "leather" briefcase. Worse thing, blasting some odd music. Lounge or elevator music that tries hard to sound like jazz. And he had that oil scent.. the 1 that smells like coconut??

-A lady with her kid, sat diagonally across from me. Funny, coz the kid was prob only 2-3 years old, kept tugging her mom's blouse, pulling it down. She wanted to see her mom's boobs, or perhaps wanted to show it to the world.

Mommy just kept stopping her and said "I noe they were yours when you were small, but now they're not, so stop it!"

Kids....

Read all about it!

2006-08-08T18:22:00.000+08:00

Ok, finally an entry... Ages and eons since I last did this...
Really just lazy la... Blogging is definitely requires a little discipline...
Some updates on whats going on:

- I'm finally a graduate now! haha, managed to survive without any failed units... The results are aren't the kind that makes people go "wah! so good". It probably would get a reaction like "oh, ok... hmm.. OH, so the weather's really fine today ar?"

- 1st week of winter hols spent at OCF Winter Camp. Helped in the committee. Was pretty alrite, but all the time doing stuff, running around. Was good since the com was really good. Camp site was beautiful.

- I went for a short holiday in Sydney(4days) and Melbourne(10days) for 2weeks, 8-21 July. Spent alot, mostly on food. Din manage to buy much.. coz the girls were doing most of the shopping. But did buy some stuff in Syd, 2Mooks n a decent looking Mambo for $15. Skiing was fun, but freaking cold.

- I've put on weight.... All thanks to the rich and sinful food in Syd n Melb. Is there a Koko Black's in Sg?? A friend said there might be, but I can't recall..

- Initial post-graduation plans was to be a full time bummer till September. But that has changed. Gonna apply for PR in Aus. so wun be back in Sg that soon.

- Thought I'd bum till I get my PR. But fortunately, got a job. Was actually considering of not taking it, but really needed income. Part timing at a small firm doing accounting and tax, no audit whatsoever. They'll offer full time once PR application confirmed, and prob depending on my performance as well.
Full time pay, 29k... Not much, but will do for now.

- Homeless at the moment. Bunking in a friend's place. Didn't stay on at my previous 1 coz I wasn't sure if I would even stay on till end of the year.

- Might shift back to my old place. Simplifying a complicated story :
New tenant shifts in, unhappy with what he initially saw and agreed to.
Acts like a spoilt kid, refuse to share phone bill and furnishing costs.
Wants to shift out, doesnt bother finding a replacement tenant, yet expects the room to be his till he finds a place.

- Job.... lotsa stuff to learn... but kinda dry... This is after all accounting and tax... What's the most exciting thing that can happen?? "OH NO! The Balance Sheet isn't balanced!"... "HELP! The client can't get his $100 reduction!"..

- The people at work are really nice tho. I haven't exactly warmed up to them yet... I'm kinda slow at that.. A note, juz for cheap thrill.. I'm the youngest in the firm, but that's quite alrite since it has a staffing of under 10.

- Still figuring out what I wanna do... How I'm gonna earn my living...

- Still clueless about who I am, how well do I know myself...

- Still trying to see if I'm alrite the way I am now... hmmm...

- This ain't a promise, but I'll try to post fotos, 8^). Not easy as I don't have my own digicam. People, its time to get me one for my birthday. haha.

heeHeehEE

2006-05-06T07:17:00.000+08:00

HEYHEY~~~

Felt like blogging n tapping away on my keyboard. But then again, not sure what to blog about... I wonder how many pple are still reading this blog.

haha, but anyhow, I'm HAPPY 2day. hhmmm... k, maybe not HAPPY, but juz Happy?? hehe, n also abit of relief too~~~ hahaha

Have a good day/week/month ahead. Things may seem down, but there's also a silver lining blahblahblah. & like I say to some friends, "What's the worse that can happen? You've been thru alot more shit than this, haven't you?"

lalalalala

a wkend in KL

2006-04-10T18:00:00.000+08:00

A pretty rushed trip since I was doing my internship. But still a good, nice food, interesting sights & good company. Here goes~~~~~~

The 2 tired buggers from Singapore. Man, the trip was tiring.... 6hrs i think... could be better, but traffic in the heart of KL is horrible.

See, we had to get off the bus and walk. Actually saved us at least 1hr. See for urself, stagnant!! Cars not moving! What jam on PIE ar, ECP ar, CBD~~ S'poreans, you ain't seen a traffic JAM till ur outta S'pore.

Actually I think the roads and all are more or less the same everywhere. I feel that its the driving etiquette of drivers. Driving habits is a veryvery serious issue that needs to be addressed in society. Just take a look at this driver below.... aiyo~

So do tell your friends and family, how important it is to have good driving habits, for the better of society, hehe.

Oh, back to the trip. Here's our hosts. Bernice offered to let us bunk in her room~~ Good Ber! & I juz realised that if you read the syllables of BERNICE backwards, its Nice-Ber. hahaha, lame-O~~~

Nick was also a great host, driving us around on the wkend, his only time off from work. Big sacrifice I know~~ Thanks NICK!

Time for random shots~~~~

Colored muahchee~~ haha, I've nv seen that b4.... odd odd, haha. Din try the colored 1s, which were mainly fruit flavors. But the original flavor was really nice and chewy, but the peanuts too fine... i dun like

SLACKER security guard!! Up on the KLCC tower... and they actually hand out portable video players to tourists. Showing informational clips and wat not. & the guard juz grab a set, blatantly relac-1-corner and watch. Power la!

Leaning Twin Towers~~

The proper upright shot.

Ohoh, I tot these were really cool. Twas still the CNY season, and the shopping centres were so nicely decorated. they put up all these props and background stuff that made the place look really Oriental and Chinese~~~ If I'm right, this should be Midvalley. Thats what you can do when your malls are so huge. So much SPACE n LAND~

Haha, this was funny too. Aiyo... It is difficult being a Muslim la. Alot of the shoes has this signage... How la brudder, shopping oso muz check Halal ornot. Headache leh.

~~~FOOD FOOD FOOD n more FOOD??~~~

Lunch @ Petaling St, yummy wanton & siugow wif noodles~~~

Madame Kwan @ Bangsar

Managed to check out the pasar malam at Bangsar, but this really famous popiah stall alr packed up for the day. Anyway, this is the best group pic I've got. Me, Nick, SuYen, Chris. Li-ann in the background busy shopping, Ber holding the digicam.

Kim Gary. It's a pricey 'chacanteng' chain from HK.

I totally 4got wat drinks these were. Sorry.

OooOO, this is yummy n sinful I tell u. Toasted bread with peanut butter inside, covered with a thick layer of maple syrup~ Absolutely delicious.

After so many years, I managed to try Klang BahKuteh again~~! Nice!Prob coz its cooked in the old way, unhealthy n all. The rice was extra fragrant and tasty, cooked with some pork lard.

Humongous Roti Tissue~~~~ At a mamak in SS2.

This is supper. The Seafood Tomyam noodles from SS2, according to Ber, its great coz the spiciness burns ur tummy, and the sourness bites.... Somehow that seemed more tormenting than enjoyable... but wat can I say, to each his/her own.. Think I had the milder version.

Brekky. ALOT rite!!! thats for 3pple you noe. man! Its great that our hosts brought us around to eat. But it was a little too much!! Macam filming 食字路口(Food Crossroads) Eating nearly 2Xs of what we usually consume....

Tak Boleh TAHAN!

The Final Meal in KL, @ Dragon-i, Mid-Valley

The XiaoLongBao is GOOD. Big, succulent and juicy~~ Crystal Jade's pales in comparison ar, theirs is really Xiao, puny infact.

I like this dish of deep-fried long beans. A lil salty, and a tinge of chilli~~~

4got the name of this, but its basically egg yok, mixed wif cooked/semi-cooked egg white, filled wif scallops and crab meat. YUMYUM~~~

& the result of all that eating????

NNNNNOOOOOO

Huge puppy chubby cheeks! argh~~~~
This KL wkend is the perfect cure for anorexia

Wo Hui Lai Le! ( Me Come Back Already)

2006-03-16T23:30:00.000+08:00

HEY!!!

Haha, to all those who actually bothered to drop by once in awhile, THANKS! Been eons since I last blogged, and I've got no explanation for it.

Maybe I was just busy trying to have a life and doing my internship?? Or I could have jsut been plain lazy. Haha, whichever the case, I'm back now. And I'll try to keep it that way.

Haven't got anything to blog about it, but I found a draft in my blogger. I have no idea what it was about, or what made me write it.... but anw, go figure~~~

********************************************************************
Perhaps this has been an issue for a long time. Something that was never brought up. You know how you'd just get by in life, trying to ignore things that you know are invitable.

Silly? I would say so.
Immature? Maybe. Fear? Probably.

Haven't you come to a point in time where you felt that things were so much better the way they were before? I would assume that it has happened umpteen times. Before things went bad. Before NOW.

The present can be such a pain, especially when you feel that you could have done something to change it. And when you look back, you actually find that there are countless things you could have not done.

Shut your mouth, and perhaps your friends wouldn't have been hurt by
your insensitive remarks. Be nicer to your ex, and maybe the relationship would
have lasted. Or even just being there for someone, instead of going about your
own business.

After your mind has been saturated with those thoughts, you decide not to think about it anymore. You stand up to yourself, and say that what's done is done. It's all in the past, & you gotta move on.

Yet, it doesn't help much for some people. Having lost something, or done something
wrong, things are no longer the same. Without it, everything doesn't seem so
beautiful anymore. Life's completely different even tho you're truely
apologetic.

And as usual, they try to move on again. Yet, each step they
take, they look back. That step forward seems so daunting. They had something
really precious before, and now without it, life feels so empty.

How?
sighs.... It's so easy to look back, and want things to be the way they were.
But they can never be.

********************************************************************

Back Home

2005-12-20T19:30:00.000+08:00

Lazy...
Busy...
4getful...
Soon...

These are my excuses for not blogging since I came back. PIG! haha, anyway, I actually have 1 or 2 draft entries which i haven't posted... Can't seem to complete it... Brain blocked.. tmd...
speaking of which, dunno y, i keep using TMD everytime... its like a new word for me...

Just like how an anonymous friend of mine sticks lotsa "SHIT" in every sentence of her conversation, I seem 2b doing that for "TMD"...

TMD this. TMD dat. TMD slow.....

Anyhow, I'll get down to blogging real soon alrite? (TMD... I juz used an excuse again....) ((& TMD as well))...

Its a natural reaction for now... wat can I say...

Once upon a Sept in Araluen

2005-11-13T03:47:00.000+08:00

1 fine day in Sept, 5 people decided to go on a trip to Araluen.

Yeah, all in Araluen now. Ok, erm.... guess some pple are more "into" tulips than others.
Doesnt he look spastic..... Malu only..... tsktsk

Twas a long day, admiring the flowers, and the great view. Lotsa photos were taken and they were all tired. Try all sorts of crazy cuckoo pose, so many pattern. Who wouldn't be tired?

Debs: Esther! y u like dat! We supposed to pose together. You so gancheong nv wait for me.... I'm disappointed.. dun friend u alr.... 8'(

Esther: orh.... sorry loh........

The guys, can't really be bothered wif what the 2girs are doing coz too hungry alr.

YouYan:Argh! Wrapper looks delicious too, dun care, juz eat! ARGH!
David: sighs..... I got no craving for Sub now... Maybe if I look at the Sub hard enuff... hhmmm ~~~CharKwayTeow CharKwayTeow CharKwayTeow CharKwayTeow CharKwayTeow~~~(chanting in head)

David: eewwww, the apple taste funny leh... dirty or wat??

Yeap, nv wash the apple then eat. Now all stomachache in toilet la! orbi-good.

Adrian: sighs... next time muz remember to wash apple b4 eating ar...
David:eemmm, I agree.

Esther: Muz clean nicenice for Deborah, otherwise she kena oso. Maybe this way she'll forgive me. Wah, this apple really quite dirty ar. Currie Hall stuff.... tsktsk

Several mins later.......

\/
\/
\/
\/
\/

Debs: wat? wat u wan? I nv say friend u hor....
Esther: dun liddat la. give u 2apple la, good for digestion u noe. very crunchy, & I spent longlong time cleaning it 1. Eat la, then eat alr if nice, frn me la, ok??

Debs: eat and see how 1st.....
*MunchMunchMunch*

Debs: ESTHER!! the apple so nice!! & CLEAN! I like! YUMYUM. ok la, frn you la.
Esther: hahaha(*unique esther laughter, blogger unable to express in words...) So u frn me again ar!? yeah!

Esther & Debs: WhoooPppeeee!!

As for the guys??

erm... lets juz say they nv felt that constipated~~~

Araluen, cya nex Spring~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pretty close

2005-10-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

Look the same?? Pretty close I'd say. Sketched by Aloy.

MIA

2005-10-02T00:50:00.000+08:00

oky... haven blogged for weeks...
I've no idea wat i'm doing these days...
When I'm up2 something, which has been MultiCultural Week(MCW) stuff lately, I'm totally immersed in it. I had alr knew in 46SAR that when I'm caught up in something, I'm really bothered by it. When things dun go rite, I'm quite fedup, and that in turn kinda paralyses me. I have to switch off for quite awhile, and juz do nothing.

Weird? Yes. Stupid & nonsensical? Yes. But somehow I'm like that. But thankfully, the other committee members actually cover my arse. Eric has actually saved me from quite a few of my foil ups.

But I am enjoying the experience. I'm not sure if it's because of what I'm doing, or isit just the feeling of being part of something. Whichever it is, I'm glad I'm part of it, & if all of us do pull it off (which I'm sure we would), I'll be jumping for joy.

However, I'm still such a bummer. Academically, I'm a retard. I am not kidding here. Ask me anything about sch, my answer is simple.

Dunno.

WAKE UP WAKE UP!!

I do try to keep things going. Like trying 2 show concern for friends, keeping in touch wif them, having time to reflect on my tots etc. Yet, usually things don't work out. Effort doesn't always get me where I hope to be.

I think I'm losing quite alot in my life. Sense of humor, intelligence & friends, juz to name a few. I dunno why, but I wun say it's coz I'm so caught up in MCW, tho it might seem so.

Perhaps I'm just conveniently hiding behind this facade. I seriousl think if i knew the real reason, I'd fall into a really deep depressive state. Yet, I really wanna know what's wrong. Haha, tok about contradiction.

If I met myself, & heard my own crap, I prob think I'm a useless whining idiot. Haha, but I hope I'm not. I dun wanna keep it inside. I know things are never within my control, & I take things as they come, tho I do want them to be much better.

2005-09-10T10:28:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

dat doesn't help... shit

Excuses

2005-09-05T11:56:00.000+08:00

Haven been able to blog lately.... except for a couple of random nonsensical entries.
I'm pretty caught up in alot of stuff this sem.

-Helping to organise a Uni event, MCW.
-Trying to attend as many lessons as I can.
-Still struggling to practise Good Time Management.
-Settling down in my new residence. (its good since my hsemates are all nice & easy-going)
-Doing what I can to keep in touch with friends.
-Suffering from a bad case of absent-mindedness..
-Sustaining that wee-bit of sanity in me.

I am still alive of coz, I mean whats all these rite? The world & the people on it have greater problems, & life still goes on.

Yet it's still tiring, and so overwhelming. I can't seem give my best in anything that I do, and at the end of it, I realise that I could have done better.

Perhaps my mind is just to pre-occupied with all the other stuff going around in my life. It dawned upon me that somewhere along my Uni life, I 4got how to focus.

I dunno if that is possible, but I do remember being about to focus & concentrate much better. haha, maybe my brain is juz degenerating..... I'll prob get Alzhemiers when I'm 60 or so.

oh well, could juz be a load of excuses anw. Happens all the time.

Customer service music.

2005-08-25T09:33:00.000+08:00

Been so busy lately that I 4got I had to change the return date of my plane ticket.
hahaha, & the funny thing is, Valuair's customer service uses boybands' songs.
Which boyband???

BACKSTREET BOYS.

ALAMAK!!

-I'll go anywhere for you.
-Backstreet's Back.

No more instrumental or elevator style music, hahaha, it's boyband! hahahaha.

It's a BIG AD!

2005-08-18T09:30:00.000+08:00

Carlton Draught's BIG AD

This is a really good advertisement I saw a TV few weeks ago. Seen it on TV 2-3Xs so far. It's actually up on the web as well.
Check it out, hahaha, its really funny, & very drama.
I love the build-up that leads to the very last line of the jingle.
wahahahaha

lame jokes

2005-08-15T23:56:00.000+08:00

Just gonna post some lame jokes that I've heard. If you're not into that kinda humour, its advisable for you not to read this entry, coz it might get really 'cold'.

3 Farmers:

Once upon a time, there were 3 farmers.

Farmer A sells watermelons.
Farmer B sells rockmelons.

What does Farmer C sell??

Wintermelons?? NOPE

Apples? TEEEHHH~~(buzzer sound)

Farmer C sells medicine, coz its Pharmacy.

Spiderman:

Whats the color of Spiderman???

White, coz Spider(是白的) man.

after 2yrs???

2005-08-11T00:48:00.000+08:00

I went for a haircut on Mon.
"short hair would be nice", the hairdresser said

I just nodded, and she started snipping away.
There goes all the hair on my head.

2 over years of having hair thats kinda long for a guy.
1st couple of mths, the hair was odd.

But I insisted on keeping it,
no short crop for me then.

Had lotsa good and bad hair days,
nice and weird styles.

Proud of the fact that I could keep it for such a long time.
But guess now, I'm liking short crop. Maybe makes my head lighter,
so I dun feel so bogged down with all the things in my head.

For now, short hair is good.
Altho pple have had contradicting comments.
The pple who said they think I shd go for short hair, instead of leaving it long.
They say they prefer my previous style... Hmph~~~

Anw, I'm happy wif it~~

all the small things, good n bad

2005-07-27T00:53:00.000+08:00

The days in my life
can be happy or sad

I could laugh at any little thing
& make my day so much brighter

Some things are just such a bother
that can't be shrugged off with a smile

Yet a small thing can trigger
many deep and painful wounds

Those that still hurt alot
& those that just ache

But I'll still try to live
with a smile everyday.

it's a good day

2005-07-20T20:36:00.000+08:00

Tuesday was a good day.

-Submitted my overload approval form to BIL (refer to Beyotch entry last yr). I WIN! BIL LOSE!
-Spent time with me best friend
-Saw plenty of cute girs (hahaha)
-TimTams were on OFFER!~~ WwoooHhhooooo
-Fun time @ KTV wif me best friend.

Simple things that make me happy.

isit juz me??

2005-07-09T01:15:00.000+08:00

I think LOVE it...
everytime I see it
something just clicks
something just relates
something just connects..

am I weird? or is every1 juz pretending??
POSTSECRETS

saw it somewhere

2005-06-29T00:59:00.000+08:00

Saw this @ PostSecret

Sad isn't it? It caught my attention, coz sometimes I think I might end up in a situation like that....
Its just seems like proof that re-affirms the fact that not a single soul out there know what's going on, coz they juz dun care....

eXams oVer!!

2005-06-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!!!
It wasnt fantastic,
it wasnt good,
& not even near okay.

But I shant think too much,
time is so short,
not even 2fortnights.

Shall enjoy the moment,
before the verdict's out,
I wun care, I dun care,
its only fair.

PS:
-erm, for those posting comments, I kinda remove the Enetations commentsbox.
-The blogspot does allow u to post w/o a Blogspot a/c.
-So just put ur name?? haha, was lost when i saw "eh, knock it down", din noe who it was from.
-btw, serene, enjoy urself ar~~ grad alr~~ shiok rite!

Crappy

2005-06-14T23:42:00.000+08:00

For those of you who have noticed me missing from MSN, I've been busy trying to study the previous week. This week & the following weeks, I'll be camping at the library also.

Really nervous about all my papers, especially for Investment Analysis. I guess its mainly because I only got 51% for the mid sem exam. Now getting a D or Cr is quite difficult. Definitely dun wanna get a P for a 3rd yr unit, that'll be too atrocious, even for me.

The weather is really erratic now. I've fallen sick, I dunno why. Probably caught germs from a kid. Fever went up to as high as 38.8.... Anw, quite alrite now, tho I dun really think str8 sometimes, & my nose is blocked..

Haven't caught up with many people during this time... Kinda lost touch wif the blogs out there as well... Promise I'll do so once exams are over.

Anyway, gonna post some crap I wrote while I was really bored out in the library.

***********************

Rain rain won't go away,
it comes here everyday.

Haven't seen the sun for awhile,
can't seem to find my smile.

I do hope it's just the weather,
'cause I hate to be depressed forever.

No matter if it's rain or shine,
I just wanna be happy all the time.

************

do I look happy?

2005-06-07T01:02:00.000+08:00

Look in the mirror...
do you look happy?

Ask your frnds,
"Do you think I look happy?"

If you took away a lil humor,
would you still look happy?

Would being different,
keep you away from being happy?

If you had no1 beside you,
would would you look happy?

If you were less likeable,
would you still smile that often?

Things change....
Think about it,
are you really happy?

paSSion

2005-05-30T17:35:00.000+08:00

Some have a passion for food,

but others only love desserts.

She loves reading books,

while he can't live w/o adventure.

I might be passionate about pop music,

while you're just comfortable with classical.

He is a clubber at heart,

she is just a simple homemaker.

You enjoy the beauty of mother nature,

but they just care for shopping at the mall.

Whatever your passion is,

however different or strange it seems,

as long as you're happy,

thats all that matters.

un-titled

2005-05-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

it's juz a cartoon myth
you could only dream to live

warp into Tv land
& life is juz right

iF there waS a reset button
i'll be there to press it

coz here is juz fantastic
i cant live up to it

nothing's ever enough
I'm juz an oddball,

not knowing the world
living it out weird

cant even roll
like a ball would...

WADDAAA!!!

Chidley fotos

2005-05-14T22:43:00.000+08:00

Chimes looks so cool~~~ Wonder Whats he thinking about..????

hahaha, great picture of Peter.

lalala, Jo n Je suggested hanging pple's sandals while they took a walk at the beach.
This is Deb's.

Chidley Point, nice view hor?

Look alike of KENNY, Marvin the Martian or Robbie Williams(in one of his ablum covers)???

The 'improper' group foto~~~
lalala

yawnz....

2005-05-11T03:51:00.000+08:00

Time's just buzzing by
Everything's a blur, I just dunno why

How I'm so disorganised & unmotivated
feeling worthless & paralysed...

Yawnz... Sighs... Huh...
Orh... Eh... Ah... Whatever...

Those are the only words I'd utter

What more can I do or say??
I sure hope tomorrow would be a better day.....

ice cream IS GOOD for sore throats

2005-04-27T17:28:00.000+08:00

I TOLD U SO!

This is forall those who didnt believe me, & thats pretty much every single person I've mentioned this to.

Ice-cream is soothing for sore throats alright!
Check out this article ==> Adrian is RIGHT <==
Excerpt:

What to do for sore or irritated throat:
Eat soft, creamy foods such as cream soups, cheeses, mashed potatoes, yogurt, eggs, custards, puddings, cooked cereals, ice cream, casseroles, gravies, syrups, milkshakes, and commercial liquid food supplements.

And to further prove my point, I'm providing you with another article
==> Adrian is proven right AGAIN <==
Excerpt:

Simple painkillers and plenty of cold drinks, ice cream and jelly can help to soothe a sore throat

Now repeat after me,

"I shall never doubt Adrian in future. I will not dismiss Adrian's words w/o giving it a 2nd thought."

When it all falls apart..

2005-04-18T12:20:00.000+08:00

Hmm... just a random thought that popped into my head. This is how distracted i get when I study last minute.

Anw, it's really nice when people start giving you their regards and wishes right?

"All the Best"
"Good Luck!"
"Best of Luck"
"God Bless"

It's encouraging to know that there are people who care, & hope that you are happy. Anyway, most people do.

I mean I don't live my life hoping every second that someday some particular person is gonna trip and fall flat on his face. Not even if I dislike him/her.

However, after awhile, I can get rather de-sensitised to all these well wishes. Somehow, I'll just end up thinking that everything is really gonna be alright.

Somewhere in my head, I know there's a possibility it wouldn't be. Everything's possible in life. What happens then?

I guess that's all I'm really concerned with. Not just whether people actually hope I'll be ok, but also the assurance that when everything falls apart, someone will be there.

Like for exams, what's the worse thing that can happen? I'll just fail, like the countless times I've failed before. I'll just feel like a loser for a few days.

It isn't the failure that kills but the sense of loneliness & isolation that comes with it.

I know I may sound weird, but I just prefer to comfort people that way. I wanna be there when things are bad, coz I know how weak and vulnerable one would feel.

If ever you're frustrated, stressed, or worried, I'll say this to you,

"All the best, but if things go wrong, pls lemme know? I won't judge, or nag, I'll just sit in 1 corner & listen."

and maybe crack a few lame jokes, hehe.

Stolen Pizza!

2005-04-16T22:17:00.000+08:00

Something that stands out amidst the big Casino debate. haha, funny man.

Can you believe this news was report on CNA(channel news asia)
hahaha! ==>Big News<==

excerpt:

A pizza delivery man lost a Hawaiian pan pizza to an apparently hungry thief on Thursday evening.
The hot pouch is worth $120 and the pizza $25

Idea sia! haha, we could actually try it out in Perth?? Lets all start tailing Broadway & Dominoes Pizza delivery vehicles.
I'm sure I can find a delicious BBQ Chicken, or Aussie Bob. Yumyum. haha

Sure hope Pizza Hut has some kinda insurance for that, haha, otherwise the poor delivery boy's pocket is gonna kena.

Choc Croissants!

2005-04-16T09:56:00.000+08:00

I only realised that I haven't had a bite of chocolate croissants in ages. I didnt have during the summer. Thats a longlong time.

But there's no escaping from Adrian's mouth. HAHAHA, devoured 3 croissants last night! Given that there was only 4 on the table, I feel that it's quite an achievement.

This is a picture of a very happy boy gobbling up his croissant~ It's the best one I could find online.

yumyum

So satisfying! & please don't say I didnt share that divine happiness, no1 believed me when I said "Hey, it tastes fantastic! But then again, I'm just biased to chocolate croissants"

Lalala. However, Joey was lucky enough to grad the last 1, coz I was too paiseh to take anymore la. Luckily Joey didnt see me staring at that last piece, otherwise sure kena from him, hahahaha.

tick tick tick

2005-04-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

Time's ticking away, & I haven't really done much to prepare myself for the mid semester exams. Habis la!

I should feel the sense of urgency... but then it just isn't making me move....

Muz move my ass & start studying. STUDY STUDY STUDY!

Kk, enuff crap from me. Gonna share an interesting thing i found out.

Singapore Hokkien words derived from Malay.

-Loti <-- Roti . = bread (this I knew)

-Suka <-- Suka . = like (Din noe)

haha, okok, not like this info is gonna save ur life or anything, but interesting wat~~

Anyhows, will post up a couple of pics in my nex post. As soon as start studying, I'll use it as an excuse to take a break. hmm... actually I can juz take a break right now ar? haha, nay! STUDY!

Thanks~~~

2005-04-08T16:37:00.000+08:00

The week before was rather eventful, but I enjoyed coz I managed to actually spend some quality time with my mom.

Haven't really been out wif her for a long time. I'm not just talking about going out for meals or accompanying her somewhere, but actually spend time with her doing something together.

Ok, so it is just shopping to some of you, perhaps no big deal. However, I haven't been shopping with Mommy for a long time. Being the only child & having a father who's busy at work, I always had to tag along with Mom when she goes shopping.

As I grew older, shopping gradually became an activity w/o Mommy. Guess some of us are just like that huh? As I think back, I'm actually very thankful & grateful for that Thursday spent with her.

I did not feel obligated to accompany her, & was enjoying most of the time spent w/o worries. And having her pay for my stuff, that's such a RARE thing!

Not that I've been financially independant since young, but it's never been a direct form of gift. Been taking hand outs from my parents till my army days, but Having her actually paying for my shopping, haha, feel like a little boy la~~

Does seem interesting though, that I've only managed to spend quality with my mom here in Perth. Time to reflect on what I've been doing b4...

Not-so-Good Friday & Sunday

2005-03-28T19:41:00.000+08:00

This is probably one of the most depressing weekends ever, filled with disappointments & sad news....

Saturday, my friend told me that she was supposed 2 meet her friend for lunch. He was gonna go all the way to Singapore from Malaysia to meet up with her. Supposed to be on Sunday. Sadly, Sunday would never come for him.

He died in a motor accident in Malaysia on Sat. I wouldn't say I was especially saddened by the news, but it definitely didn't brighten my day. I dread being such situations, having to see a friend leave this world...

What if it happens to you? Someone just suddenly disappears from your life. It could be a confidante, a friend you always hangout with, or just someone you're gonna catch up with for coffee tomorrow.

Another piece of depressing news reached my ear. A friend had just lose her one & only sister, & it happened w/o any reason. She fainted, & passed away 3 days later. The doctor said it was a viral attack.

That's gotta be worse than dying in an accident, because its not something one could prevent. The worse thing was that she had already lost her father last year.... As much as I can sympathise, its really too difficult put myself in her shoes....

How can I ever know how it'd be like losing 2 family members. Its totally impossible to fathom. I can't even muster up the courage to picture myself in such a situation.

How can anyone imagine losing a loved one? A world w/o your Mom & Dad, siblings, or other half.... Just seems like a world w/o much meaning right?

The world just doesnt seem to make any sense hah? sighs...

All these are making me rather emotionally sensitive. Especially when I expected to meet my mom for the whole Easter break, but she's only able to meet up on Wednesday & Thurday this week. (See! I already said, she's in Perth at the request of my Uncle. Main purpose isn't to visit me...)

That's probably why I teared in church on Sunday.... Hopefully no1 saw.. Well, you all make sure you treasure your family & friends alright? Don't take them for granted, because when the fragility of life manifests itself, you're really gonna regret.

PS:
- I drove down today to Mandurah/Pinjarra to find my Mom instead. At least I can meet up with her as often as possible.

I'm not a gir~~

2005-03-24T18:48:00.000+08:00

Jerline's friend Candice said this to me on Wed.

Hey, you kinda remind me of one of my girlfriends back in secondary school. Not to say that you look like a girl, but just that your features and all, juz remind me of her.

Couple of weeks ago, another friend said one of my Friendster pics reminded her of Stefanie Sun......

I dun think I look girlish do I?? I shall assume that whichever girl I remind whoever of, that girl looks tom-boyish. URGH~~

Trip Mandurah~

2005-03-20T22:58:00.000+08:00

Din take many fotos~~~ So here's a couple of weird fotos, AGAIN....

The pathway outside SiJie's house. The view of the beach is really great, but no fotos of that...

haha, I was laughing when I saw these 2fotos. PIG!

SiJie & Aloy look tired n dazed.... Mindy's just trying 2 pose of fotos... as usual...

Mindy posing for a foto with the Adrian & Allan the zombies.

She's caught the sleepy bug already~~ haha, weird look!

Freaking NARCISSIST! I'm saving space by just posting one of the many self-potraits she took in the car.

I'm awake~~~

Queer facial expression......

The neighbour's cat, OSCAR~~

Weird Birthday Photos

2005-03-16T01:51:00.000+08:00

Couple of weird fotos taken during my bday... weird angles, nothing proper.... wonder why...
Think every1 couldn't really be bothered with photos after the longlong wait.

The eve of 8th March, 05.

2005-03-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

haha, wat an interesting 24th Bday.

When I stepped into my house, saw Damien n the rest hanging out around the TV. Kinda obvious wat they were tyring 2do rite?? hmmm... haha, but I was totally surprised to see Rebecca & Joyce suddenly walking out from the kitchen with 2 litted cakes.

Everyone please say 'AAAaaaawwwWW'. Hahaha

Was really quite touched coz seeing them there, with sarah, jecie juz meant they actually try to coordinate with my hsemates to gimme a surprise. It's really the thought that counts, and the effort was really touching.

I've never been good at expressing this particular emotion. I cant hide disappointment, excitement, happiness etc, but I somehow dun like to show it when I'm really touched. Later will tear 1 leh, cannot la. So at least you know I was really very touched last nite, 8^).

*DingDong*, I assume it was Allan at the door, but also half-expecting it to be Care grp pple. Turned out to be Care group. I wasn't totally off-guard, coz I kinda knew David would tell them, but was pleasantly surprised since I also knew they prob din remember.

Anyway, I wasn't a very good host, coz there were too many pple! So I'm sorry if I 4got to reallyreally thank you, or show you around my place(tho nothing much 2see), or offer you the cake of your choice.

& 1 thing most pple forgot that nite, PHOTOS! I only took a 4 photos?? aiyo... every1 there to eat cake only rite! hahaha

Thanks to all the 'ex-currie' clique, care grp, & OCF BS grp for turning up. Also to those who waited till it was too late n left. Sorry to have made u waited.

special mentions:
-Rebecca, for making the effort to organise things with the rest of my friends.
-David for reminding Care grp, & pulling them over.
-Rebec & Joyce for the nice cards & presents.
-Sernwei for asking my frnds over.

home

2005-03-03T01:48:00.000+08:00

There's no place like home, for there really isn't anywhere as unique.

where is the air always way too humid?

Where do you just end up hanging out at the same old place with your friends all the time?

Where can you find people who love to using over-crowded public transport, even during office hours.

Where is it that no1 seems to give way when boarding the train. They dun bother to move to the back of the bus when the front is just jam-packed.

Where can you see streets that are over saturated with old uncles selling $1 ice-cream on their motorbike carts.

Where would I have parents who'll nag when I don't inform them about the time I'm reaching home.

Where is there food available 24/7, w/o needing me to lift a finger to cook?

Where do you have drivers who love their lanes so much, that they never let other drivers 'potong jalan'?

Baby Pink Ears..

2005-02-28T23:13:00.000+08:00

Bunny Wabbit..... Went to hep out Intl Student Svcs on Oday last Fri....

Sighs, in the end me & Eric had to go out wearing the bunny ears to distribute flyers...

& I was lucky enough to pick out the last pair.... BABY PINK!! argh! At least Eric could hide behind his shades.... I couldnt!

All the freshies were laughing n giggling! argh! Even my own friends couldnt ctrl their laughter..... Perverse humour....

Obviously masked my embarassment behind a face of pain, agony n reluctance......

if only.....

2005-02-27T19:58:00.000+08:00

If only,

1) the world doesnt seem to stop after 5pm in Perth.

2)Perth has a lower cost of living than S'pore.

3)I had a life in Perth

4)I felt more at home in Perth

5)I knew what was it that is lacking..

6)Perth was like S'pore?

7)home as here.

Jialats leh... actually wanted to blog about something else... But somehow, I just started off with this... Guess somethings just don't change, even with all that justification you impose on urself....

Wonder who told me about self prophecy?? Its isnt proven I guess.... Self prophecy seems more like a nice disguise for DENIAL~

Anw, not in depression or anything, think I'm coping well with wateva is happening in my life. I've been through enuff to know that beating myself up for certain things just isn't gonna help. 8^)

Song Update

2005-02-26T00:34:00.000+08:00

Check out the song I put up. Been in my head for weeks & months.
Cantonese song tho, but the tune is really nice.

2005-02-20T22:20:00.000+08:00

~~Sunday events~~
1. Spent a total of $50 on my hair. Cut + dye + highlight. Haha, saved loads compared to last year, since this time, I brought the DIY kit, asking the stylist 2help me do it. Charged me $8 for svc, so only spent $18 to dye my hair. Don't think I should have highlight... but wats done is done....

2. Met my good old friend Hongchang to watch Constantine. Really old friend, think 10years now?? WAH! Glad to know his attachment stint has started, after much delay. About the movie, just wonder if its really true that Satanism has its own version of the Bible, or is that just movie fiction?

3. Simple dinner with mom & dad. Din go anywhere fancy, budget budget this time. Went to a place at Rangoon road that's supposed 2b famous for sambal fish. The sambal was POTENT(pwr sia!). But the chilli crab soso only.... Haha, if you noticed, I've upgraded from soft food, to solids for this dinner.

4. Got my GUITAR! Haha, cheap buy on Yahoo Auctions for $52.50. TGM guitar, appearance almost like new, free pack of new strings, pluck, & tuning fork. haha, not sure about the brand tho, but seemes good. Adrian has a new toy!

5. Must be getting really weak in my upper body. Offered to help this ahSoh i saw in the lift carry this gigantic box to the taxi stand. Haha, lucky was less than 50m walk, else dun think I could have continued to act as tho it was nothing. Happy that the ahSoh appreciated me help.

Note to self:
-1st compliment on my hair. Hongchang says its kinda 'PaiKia', ie hooligan, bad boy, street punk... bascially not anything in a good sense... haha.

My last Sat in S'pore??

2005-02-19T17:05:00.000+08:00

Got my stitches removed on Thurs... Good news is that there isn't any infection, however, I've got ulcers there now! Hello!! Adrian's mouth! Can cooperate?? Piangz....

So while I dun have to rely on the painkillers anymore, I've got a new source of pain. Ulcers that are in close proximity to my wisdom teeth socket! UrgH!..... How bad can it get???

The swelling doesnt seem to be subsiding much. Hope I don't have to live with a permanent swelling on my right cheek & jaw. At least swell on both sides, and make it look even right?? hehe

As for 2day, finally made the decision to buy a DIY hair color kit. Lets hope it will turn out much better than the ah-beng colour last year, courtesy of some Lian-ish aunty stylist @ Far East.

--Great news 2day--:
-Sim has magnanimously given up his room to SW, after finding a place for himself. Every1 has a place to stay! Too bad J&J din mention earlier, else they'd be staying @ my place.

-Sucky ball-mouse has been replaced by an optical mouse~~ YumYum!

Bulldog face??

2005-02-17T00:48:00.000+08:00

As if living off cereal and bread wasn't enough, things had to end up like that. The expected swelling occurred on Tues, and started off on the right only.
Its all because of this.....

So one side of my face puffed up, while the other side wasn't that obvious.... Look like a cock can! urgh.... The swelling was near the jaw line, so it basically change the shape of my face.... oh man..

And in such a state, I actually went down to Clementi to get textbooks with Sernwei & David. Guess Sernwei's description was rather apt, "hey, u sucking on eggs in ur mouth ar"?? sighs....

By the afternoon, the left side managed to catch up, & was just as swollen as its right counterpart.... Haha, if I had a vid-cam, could do some quik-motion editing, & we all might see this animated swelling of the right side.. then the left~~~

Sernwei was saying "haha, you suck on the egg whole day, dun wanna swallow ar? Happy to keep it in your mouth?"

Oh man... Would be "spectacle" if you all saw a foto of me... but it wasn't a very enthuiastic thought to me, besides, I got no digi-cam...

Lets hope it'll subside by Fri~~~

Note to self:
-Getting less self-conscious, managed to walk around w/o giving much tot possible weird looks from pple.
-Cuttin down on the painkiller, not too good to rely too much on it. And getting quite used to the pain.

Wisdom Teeth Surgery, on Valentines

2005-02-15T19:09:00.000+08:00

This was perhaps on of the single most daring experience of my life. Why did I choose to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth extraction?

Time was running out for me as I'm flying back on Feb 22. In Australia, dental care isn't that affordable, and wisdom teeth extraction alone can set you back for a few hundred $$$. Imagine how much more surgery would cost.

The dentist at the National Dental Centre said the best option for me, was to do all 4 under local anesthetic. General anesthetic, which puts the patient to sleep requires a much earlier advance booking.

Not having much alternatives, this was prob the best. Fortunately, after much pleading, the staff nurse was kind enough to slot me in on Valentines' Day, which was already overbooked. Enough time to rest before my flight.

On the day of the surgery, I had my last proper meal, a plate of CharSiew Rice. Can't believe I'm gonna survie on cereal & porridge for nearly 1 whole week... 8``^(

Anyway, in the operation room, I was getting jittery. When the dentist injected the anesthetic into my gums, I actually teared. Argh! Freaking PAIN!!! The feeling of the liquid entering my gums wasn't all that unbearable, but the piercing was. He pierced my gums for at least 10 times, since each tooth required about 2jabs.

The pain and the tears just made me even more nervous about the operation. With all the horrible accounts of pain I've heard from friends, I was beginning to wonder how much pain was I gonna get.
I started feeling cold, which wasn't a good sign, since the nurse said it actually isn't that cold.

So it was my nerves acting up. HarBis la! Someone who's been true shit in army, but now so damn scared... sighs.... But at least I knew I wasn't gonna say "ehh... Doc, think I'll do it some other time??"

The nurses helped calm my nerves by giving me a hot water bottle to hold on to. Awww~~ haha, and it worked, coz it was so hot! The heat distracted me from the pain, and gave me something to focus on, since they had to cover my eyes during the op.... Felt like a guinea pig, so helpless....

The dentist gave no warning at all. He just asked me to open my mouth, & the next second, he was drilling away. At least he was quick about it, would have been worse if he was gossiping with the nurses while doing the op on me....

I din lose all sensation on my left gum, & still knew what he was doing. I could feel him digging out the broken roost of my lower wisdom tooth, & I felt some pain, but it was still bearable. & I felt my upper left tooth being forcefully pulled out.

But the worse came when he started on the right side. I guessed by this time, some of the anesthetic began to wear off, so it was *@#^@*&!# painful when he try to pull out my upper right tooth. I teared again, and let out a loud "OUCH!".

So he gave me another 2 jabs to increase the numbness... But he didn't do so for the lower left tooth, so when he started to drill and cut that.. you guessed it, OUCH! sighs.... Thankfully, that was as bad as it got for the surgery.

I realised the empty gum sockets were bleeding like mad after I got home and change the gauze. Yucks! Since the nurse said that vigorous rinsing and spitting could encourage more bleeding, I had to swollow it.... Bobian la... & I was taking like an idiot coz my tongue & lips were numb...

The worse Post-Op part was when the anesthetics totally wore off. !$!(#^@(^!@#()!! Damn bloody PAIN! WahLau! It had nothing to do with the intensity, but the type "longevity" was unbearable. Imagine someone giving you a really hard pinch, & not letting go forever!

What a sad Vday for me..... Anyway, its the 2nd day after my OP, & I now look like a cockster, coz both sides of my face are swollen, like as if I got mumps. Sighs....

--Note to Self:
-Pharmacist at NDC was rather good-looking, hahaha
-Try not to lose too much weight this wk.. Already 58-59...
-Muz watch diet, need to recover ASAP.

Crazy Monday

2005-02-13T01:45:00.000+08:00

Met up with the guys in Chinatown. Haha, dunno why Francis chose this crowded place, since all we really did was sit n chat(1st at the roadside stalls, then at CoffeeBean). Could have been anywhere else rite? But at least every1 managed find time from their busy schedules to meet up. Kudos to Francis.

Most of them left b4 midnight as they still had lessons on CNY eve... That's a really depressing tot... Having to go school on CNY eve... sighs...Left with me, Francis, Ken & his gf Rebecca. While we were wondering where to go, I suggested KTV.

Haha, incidentally, I mentioned it the night, but Ken wasn't able to make it, & Francis said most of the guys won't be too keen. So didn't wanna set myself for disappointment. To my surprise, all of them were game for it. YEAH!! haha, I was literally shouting with joy!

Happy sia. So we all sang till 3am. The main highlight of the night was when Ken inserted some Hokkien number outta nowhere! PiangZ!!!! & he sang it with so much feeling man~~ Hahahaha, could nv imagine Ken singing Hokkien, Rebbeca prob cringed while he was singing. Hehe.

After KTV, I gave Francis another crazy idea after Ken & Rebecca got on the cab,

"We walk from Chinatown to my house la, save the cab fare, then I
send u back with the car when we get to my place"

Every1 muz b thinking, "CRAZY ADRIAN"!!! Haha, but mind you, me & Francis walked from Chinatown to Bugis once, so walking to my place at Bendemeer is juz twice that distance.
And so we walked! hahaha, oh man!

Like I always say, its not the activity, but the company you got, & I had this close buddy with me. So we walked & chatted all the way. Both of us actually lamented that it would've been a great night to enjoy with the girl of our dreams. The nice cool breeze, the clear sky sprinkled with stars, & the scenery along Singapore River. Haha, but neither of us has seen that girl yet, so TOO BAD~~~

Moments like these are hard to come by. It is times like these that I'll always miss whenever I'm away from Singapore. Such memories I'll treasure should fate decree that our future paths be different. 8^)

Misc Info/Happenings:
- Party World Chinatown sucks, coz its rather dilapitated.
-Ain't that far a distance to walk home from Chinatown. But shouldn't be done alone.
-Saw a group of Indians fighting and chasing. Call 999, but they said other bystanders had already called in.
-Will blog on CNY week soon.....

Raymond's 1st few days in S'pore

2005-02-04T18:24:00.000+08:00

Too many fotos, so juz post up the thumbnails. Click to enlarge.

1st Night

Here's Raymond at Suntec. Haha, why does he look like he's from China, and not HongKong?

HK needed proof that he has friends in S'pore, so we reluctantly posed with him. Hahaha.

HK's Minolta sucks when taking nightshots, but it still works for closeups.

Haha, wonder whos that lurking in HK's foto.Thats a really weird face tho.

Fort Canning, Mount Faber, Chinatown

The HongKonger checking out S'pore's history.

hmmm... Chinatown has an Indian Temple. OOooooo~~

Traffic JAM!

there! the FOTO's changed, happy now!???

2005-02-02T23:24:00.000+08:00

Finally!

Thats prob most of the comments i'll get from all of u regarding my foto change, haha.

Every1's been complaining about how this foto is spoiling their appetite.

come on, its not dat bad rite???, hahaha

So now its a black n white 1. Taken while I was spacing out, courtesy of Raymond.hk.
Change it to black n white, & soft focus using Picasa2, a lil amatuerish, but works for me.
Happy now!??? Urgh.........

Wisdom comes at a hefty price, $500!

2005-01-31T22:36:00.000+08:00

What the heck! It costs 500 bloody dollars to get rid of my wisdom tooth!

ARGH!!!!! Ok, so the lower wisdom teeth din grow as nicely as the upper ones. So it requires a little bit of surgery to remove it. But $500 dollars! arlo!!!

Gonna check out other dental clinics. Always get a 2nd opinion, maybe even a 3rd.

The Long Week

2005-01-21T23:03:00.000+08:00

Been a real busy and long week. Raymond aka Lil Boy, is here from HongKong for hols.
Supposed to bring him to Kuala Lumpur for a few days, coz he wanted to see the Petronas Twin Towers. But later he complained that the journey might be too ardous.... so in the end decided not to go.... Piangz...

Anw, will post up the fotos when i get them... Meanwhile, still thinking whether I should extend my airticket to 1year instead of 6mths. But it also means that I wouldn't be coming home in June.

Headache la.... Hate making decisions that concern limited finances. ARGH!!!

Singlehood

2005-01-14T22:04:00.000+08:00

Met up with a couple of friends for dinner on wednesday night. Glad I turned up because been trying to meet up with these friends for sometime.

Anyway, while chatting, the topic somehow shifted to 'Adrian's love life'. How boring can that be?? None at all, so whats there to talk about???

Question were fired straight at me.
"Why haven't you found a girlfriend?"
"It's been so long since your last relationship, 1.5yrs??"
"You having too high expectations huh?"

Urgh! How to explain myself?? How how?? Its not that I don't wanna get into a relationship, & its not that I have unrealistic expectations. However, certain things just don't happen.

So I admit that I'm a real people watcher, esp when it comes to admiring girls. Haha! But that's about it. I don't go up to every or any cute girl I see & try to hit on them. I don't do that.

Even though I look at cute girls, doesnt mean the one I'm looking for has to a good looker. Me not that superficial la. In the end, even if she has the looks, but we cant get along, also no point.

Not that she's gotta be real great, but so far, I haven't met any girl whom I have feelings for. Good friends & confidante yes, but none with that kinda feelings. since things are like that, what you want me to do?? Piangz....

Sure, I do feel envy for friends in relationships. I know how wonderful it is to be in love, how nice it is to have someone there. But I'm not gonna just find some girl for that right?? If it happens, it happens..... If it doesnt, then it doesnt!

Even tho singlehood is lonely at times, it aint that bad. I have more time for my family, friends & myself. I get to go out anytime I want, since my schedule is all about me & ONLY ME.

I can hang out with whoever I want, without a girlfriend who would get jealous if I hang out with girls.(my ex hated it...) I can spend as much time as I want with my buds, without having to consider about whether my girl likes it ornot.

Singlehood has less restraints, less imposed expectations. For now, I'll enjoy being single, & not care so much about how much better it is to be attached. If it happens, it'll happen. ok?? 8^)

PS: Coincidently, I'm blogging excactly 1month before Valentine's Day. Hahahaha!

Pls dun fish... not literally...

2005-01-11T21:20:00.000+08:00

Sighs... I noe, 2nd entry within 1hr... Suddenly felt like posting this...

Ever been fishing before? I've tried it a couple of times when I was in Perth. Although I never had any great catches, each time I was filled with excitement. But thats not the point here.

Anyway, if you were the fish, wouldn't it hurt? Upon seeing the bait, you think your hopes have materialised. After being hungry for so long, finally something. A promise to fill ur belly.

Naively, you go for that promise. However, you realised reality isn't as simple as you imagined. Hey, its not the fisherman's problem. You went for the bait, you gotta suffer whatever consequences that came with it right?

Hoping it isn't too late, you pull away, but you can't seem to. For some reason you're hooked. You know, you see it, but somehow you're so helpless you cant pull away. Or maybe you don't want to..

The fisherman is oblivious to whats going on in your mind. He keeps tugging the line, reeling it in. Occasionally sensing the struggle, he gives in, & lets the line loose. But his motive doesn't change... He is just playing with you, pulling you in again.

You're hurt, confused, worried. Disappointed that the world you thought you knew isn't all that wonderful. Who would do such a thing? Why would they toy with you? In the midst of all that confusion, you managed to break free.

How? Maybe the line snapped. Maybe the fisherman gave up. You just don't know. Yet, this experience doesnt seem to have taught you anything. Maybe you're just stubborn. Maybe you're just naive. Or you're just sticking to your own principles & beliefs.

You lived in a way only a fish knew how, & you're sticking by it. For years to come, you'll continue to keep that hope alive. You'll continue that struggle with the fisherman. Whatever the end is like, you know you've tried.???

experience in Subordinate Court

2005-01-11T20:59:00.000+08:00

hhmm... really attending a hearing in the Subordinate Courts. Really dry and boring. I guess its the witness who was under question...

Typical Hokkien-educated ah-beng. Obviously putting alot of effort into his testimony & answer, but the level of eloquency was still horrible. The two lawyers & the judge were all straining to understand him. The judge had on several occasions requested him to repeat his answer.

Definitely not as dramatic as portrayed by the media. Guess all of them probably dreaded the fact that they had such witnesses. Not being a snob here, but it can be really frustrating to be in court for 4 days, 8am - 6pm, suffering from such inefficient communication.

The judicial system should seriously consider getting Hokkien translators~~~ Don't assume all Singaporean can speak proper english.

Why Tsunami reaction?

2005-01-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

So the tidal waves came & flooded out the lives of many with its mammoth physical destruction. So you see a wave of emotional distress all around the whole. Whether they were affected or not, most felt at least a tinge of sympathy.

Why? I guess its because of how easy one can make a personal connection to this disaster.

You're minding your own business, blading along a path next to the beach. All of a suddenly, people in trunks & bikinis start screaming & running away from the beach. You turn & see the biggest wave thats beyond your imagination.

You start blading away, putting all your energy into your legs, pushing your performance rollerblades to the max. Next thing you know, you're hit by a great force & you're knocked out....

What happens next?? You dunno.... Where have you landed? You dunno. Because thats the very last moment of your consciousness... Thats how you'll die.... Sudden end to your consciousness...

Imagine that happening to yourself, or family & friends.... How scary is that.... Guess that fear allows us to appreciate what we still have, & be compassionate for those who are suffering...

to Laugh or to Pity?

2005-01-06T22:56:00.000+08:00

After tapping my ezLink card, headed str8 for the back seats on the double-decked bus 133. Despite the few metres from the head of the bus to the end, my wandering eyes managed 2 catch sight of a rather cute looking girl.

It was only for a few secs though, so couldnt really tell if she was really cute. From the side view, she looked quite ok. For those of you familiar with the double deckers in S'pore, I was sitting at the very end, while she sat on the seats along the side of the bus.

I could tell that she had lotsa make up on. Her 'beauty' probably came from the thick mascara so applied, making her eyes look muchmuch brighter. However, as I was really tired, my eyes did not bother glancing or admiring. So for half the journey, I took a short nap on the bus.

When I opened my eyes, I was nearing my destination. Just as I was about to continue napping, a rather decent looking guy did something really silly. Appeared to be in his early 20s, wearing specs. He was sporting a wavy curly version of Aaron Kwok's early 80s 'mushroom' hair.

He went to take a seat beside this girl, & introduced himself. Oh man! So abrupt! It was obvious to any bystander that the girl was in shock after he made his move. He immediately asked if he could get to know her & have her number.

The girl, still in shock, came up with some excuse not to. So he went on talking about something else, & less than a min, he asked for her number again. Wahahaha! She gave him the final ans, 'Dun Wan'.

He was so embarrassed, that he got off at the next stop. Malu malu! hahahaha. All I could do was shake my head & try not to laugh. But later, really felt some pity for him, & you gotta admit, it takes 1 lotsa guts(maybe stupidity as well..) to do such a thing. rite? haha.

New Layout~~~

2005-01-02T01:26:00.000+08:00

Finally did something that I've been dragging for some time.
New blog design. The old 1 was getting kinda boring, and kinda copied it from some website.

This 1 isn't entirely original, but at least I improvised on it rite?? The picture is from a Naruto website, so all I actually did was add in the boxes, & do the coding for the placements & colours. Haha, & since its greyscale, not much colour coding. Easy job la.

Quite satisfied with it though. Nothing fantastic, or original, or creative. However, with the effort, I'm quite pleased~~~ 8^D

Watca think?????????

2004-12-30T23:32:00.000+08:00

summary of the past few days.

Sun:
Had a great time with the guys at Sentosa, Sunset Bay. Spent half the day playing Vball & cards. Adrian playing Vball!!?? HUH!??
haha, yaryar, I sucked at it, but still funny to see me making a fool of myself. Haha, guess the guys din really mind, as long as we all tried rite??
Almost 10 of us went for dinner @PS, & strolled in orchard. Moments like these are rare, been years since I went out with the whole group. Glad I din give it a miss.
46! hurray!

Tues:
Went orchard 2 waste time again. Ken's gf got off super early from work @PWC, so joined us. Perhaps shd try for PWC, seems really welfare.
Anw, seemed like I was more of the 'lightbulb', haha. But the 2 love birds nice enuff, at least tried not 2b too engrossed in their own world. Francis joined us later.
Interesting experience at Mac. My 1st time having my order taken thru a PDA. My 1st Big Mac meal. haha. Oh, for the health conscious, Mac's 'Grilled Chicken Foldover' looks really healthy..

Wed:
KTV! haha, 4hrs of singing @ cuppage with Ken & Francis. Always great to sing with them. I can juz let loose & anyhow sing, make stupid sounds, & let at one another, hahaha!

2day~~~
Kungfu HUSTLE!! Digital format sia!! haha, really hilarious! For once, I'm impressed by how good cinematography & special effects can bring out a story. Thats the future for Chinese films. Maybe even Asia. For the ill-informed, the fight scenes in Kungfu Hustle aren't mimics of Matrix. They have the same martial arts choreographer, Yuen Wo-Ping. Chinese fella ok!

cute toddler

2004-12-22T22:06:00.000+08:00

I thought I'd enjoy today, since I'm meeting up with a couple of friends. But that wasn't what made my day. It was something totally unexpected. Something that broke the mundane life of mine today.

Lunching with Teresa at Cafe Cartel was enjoyable & nice. Always great to have a fellow dessert lover to share food with. She rushed off to work, hoping to be earlier than her supervisor, who'd in turn think she's a goody-two-shoes who only has 1hr lunch breaks, haha!!

I took a train back to meet Francis @ BoonKeng MRT for an afternoon swim. Francis was late, so I sat down & leaned against the wall. I wasn't too bothered about it, who cares right. And thats when 'The Greatest Joy' dropped by.

A grandfather was out with his little toddler grandson. Nothing outta the extraordinary. However, the next moment, this little toddler just sat about 1 metre to my left. He adopted the same position as I did, leaning against the wall, with his legs tucked to his body. He was probably about 1yr old. I wasn't all that amused then.

Then the grandpa said in Mandarin, 'You wanna sit with 'korkor' here?'
The toddler turned & looked at me, then let out kiddish laughter. Then he did this attempted run/crawl towards me. Cute sia~~~ Same expression as this kid

Nex thing I knew, there he was, right in front of me. Haha! So I tried to play with him by making faces. His response was so cute. He laughed with great amusement, & tried to play with my face, using his tiny hands, trying to hug me as well. CUTE la. haha!!

So for a few mins, I was in the corner, playing with this little toddler. Carrying him up, making faces at him. At one point, he was fiddling with my backpack which I had placed in a standing vertical position. It fell so I said, 'Hor, u dropped the bag~~'.

He turned & gave me a very innocent look, & tried to pull the bag up. By then, Francis came & I had to go. So I got up & waved goodbye, & the cute little one did the same! haha. Definitely brightened my day!

Kids are so cute at this age, full of innocence. But most of them grow up to be irritating rascals. What a waste....

Marisa~~~

2004-12-19T22:38:00.000+08:00

Watched 'Anger Management' couple of days ago on cable TV. Marisa Tomei looked absolutely fabulous in it. Ok, so she wasn't the focus of the show, & her wardrobe for the movie could definitely fit into a puny briefcase. However, that simplicity just made her look even better.

So she isn't all that glamorous, yet just a simple smile is enough. Attractive huh??
But somehow, sex sells in Hollywood....

Pouty lips, oozing sex appeal, curves, glamour, boobs, etcetc... That's why this fella below is so popular...

Piangz!! I don't understand. How is it possible?? WahLau!
Maybe for that couple of minutes, Angelina Jolie could grab your attention. But doesn't her sausage lips just seem like such an eye-sore after that??

Marisa Tomei is definitely better, for me at least. 8^)

Good life so far

2004-12-15T21:45:00.000+08:00

Life's been pretty good these days since I'm not in a job yet. It helps that its the holidays for the local Unis now. Hanging out in orchard, have a meal at Sakae or Sushi Tei has been really enjoyable with great company.

Towards the end of the day, all the fun has to come to an end. As the next day approaches, I dig into my wallet again. WAH! Time to make a trip to the ATM again. BeepBeepBeep~~~ The ATM feeds me $40 & as I look up at the screen, the numbers don't look too good. Would it last me another 2months of fun??

Sighs... Money money.... But if I was to work, life would be so boring & routine. 8-5pm, or 9-6pm... Yawnzzzzzz~~~~~~~

2004-12-09T01:26:00.000+08:00

Same old CRAP
---------------

Been back for a couple of weeks, & its the same old thing.

Ever wonder why sometimes people just drift apart? When they 1st know one another, every1's all so enthu about everything, or so they appear to be. But as time passes, it grows into relucatance & obvious patronsing.

Guess when we were all younger, during school days, we could afford it, so although our hearts werent willing, our bodies showed otherwise... Now with more commitments & less time, some can no longer afford to hide how they really feel. So they end up appearing patronising....

Sighs.... Thats why I stopped myself from bothering to organise any kinda gatherings among friends. Hate patronisers, & those who are full of empty promises. People who like to prioritise their friends.

Why the heck do you need to do that? The lack of time? Different levels of closeness?
All just excuses. Its just the reluctance to spend the extra effort to get closer to people. People whom you just don't see the need to. People whom you consider to be friends. Not close friends. Just friends whom you can hang out with.

But disappointment aside, it makes obvious the things you've got in your life rite? You know who's real, who isnt. You get to see the sincere people, and the friends you got.

As usual, I prob wun make much sense.... full of shit, haha. So shall move on to the next topic.

Things I missed about Singapore!
--------------------------------

1. Jap food Galore
Afforadable & delicious Jap cuisine. Sakae Sushi, Kuishin-Bo, Sushi Tei etcetc.

2. Great Company
This is still questionable... But some army buds have made it possible.

3. Life after 5pm.
90% of the world apparently comes to a halt in Perth. In S'pore? Hang out in town & go home past 11pm or 1am, normal la!

4. Local delights
Wide variety of food that I grew up eating. Chicken rice, chilli crab, Char Kway Teow, BahZhang, BaChorMee, Sambal StingRay etcetcetcetc.

5. $50 budget
Eating out? $50 more than enough to last a week of hawker food. Brekky + lunch + dinner. Possibly something different everyday.

6. Family
Need I say more? Where else can I find people who are so ever forgiving of me?? Only here, Mom & Dad are.

wat a difference

2004-12-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

My 1st entry since I got back home. Guess 9mths in Perth has made certain aspects of Singapore very strange & uncomfy for me.

1. Huge crowds.

Buses, trains, malls, streets, all are at least 60% filled, 90% of the day.

2. Countless flyers.

Pamphlet & flyer distributors all over. They're all strategically placed all over the streets. From the 1 end to the other, & at the entrances & exits of malls & train stations.

3. Background hokkien grumblings

Definitely something I seldom hear in Perth. Lotsa bengs/lians uttering incomplete hokkien, peppered with chinese & english phrases.

4. Profusive perspiration.

Sighs... stil same as before, I sweat like a pig... Hate to perspire when I'm going out. Yucks.

5. Service w/o a smile.

Kinda more sensitive to it now, even tho it must have been like that ever since who knows when. Service people here never like to smile. Its as if you're the cause of their never-ending gloomy life. The only smiles you get will prob be those at the door, but once you're in the shop, its different.

Guess most places get many customers, they do really care if you find their attitude bad. They'll still get business anyway. Perth's kinda better. They'll be nice to you, helpful & seemingly sincere, even if you dun buy anything. Cultural differences.

last couple of tiring days

2004-11-23T01:20:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder how somethings always get done, even when you don't bother about it?
It just somehow falls into place, even tho it shouldnt?

Thats coz there're crazy dumbasses like me. When there are things you should do, but you just put it aside & not bother about it at all, life is so damn easy for you. 'Settle it when the time comes' you tell yourself. 'Its easy, I'll get it done in a jiffy' you'll brag to your friends.

But is that true?? F*%&ing NO! Yar, it'll be done, but not by YOU. By me!(& some other dumbass as well).

My english vocabulary is too limited to find a single word or phrase to describe such behaviour, but there's a dialect phrase for it. Its 'Zi Dong', ie Automatic.
Kinda like 'considerate' & 'initiative blended together.

Some people really lack this to the max. Yet they have no shame about it. So what if they leave their shit for people to do? So what if it shames them a little. They don't give a damn, coz in the end, their share of work is still done.

Why the hell should dumbasses like me still care? People tell me I should just let them clear up their own mess. If they don't wanna do it, it wouldnt hurt me, but them.

But from another perspective, everyone else suffers instead. The work gets piled up, & whatever/whoever is related to or dependant on it is affected. How can I let the selfishness of one individual cause that much pain to others?

If I were to just leave things be, I would be stooping to his level rite? Bloody vermin!!

So in the end, I'll just suffer in silence, only waiting for the ones who're not blinded by the treacherous acts of the scheming 1.

the car died again

2004-11-22T21:49:00.000+08:00

I'm such a genius! I repaired a car 2day! Here's the story,

David drove the car to pick up his gf from the airport. The car was already acting up few days ago. Really couldnt rely on it, but I felt it was ok, & so asked him to use it.

Got his call when I was waiting for the bus to city... Couldnt be good I tot. So the car broke down. There was a pop sound, & all he saw was a yellowish liquid bursting outta the bonnet.

Really shocked... My heart sank... sighs, breakdown again... & such a dramatic way this time. So decided that should let David continue with his holiday unaffected, & I'll settle it the next day. He parked the car by the side on the road, on the grass.

Luckily, sernwei managed to borrow Damien's car, & he was heading off to airport to pick a friend as well. Money on cab saved! Great to have friends who are so willing to help.

Really funny, seeing this bright red car parked by the side. Opened the bonnet & saw that one of the black tubes connecting the radiator to the engine had bursted.

When I called the mechanic, 1st thing he asked was if I had a screwdriver. HUH!???
But since I didn't, put the weird qns aside, & said no. So he gave me the tow trucks' no. to call.

After waiting for damn long, at least 30mins, Allan came driving Damien's car. Wah, shiok sia! If you think Allan's juz a big burly fella, he's not! He came with a bottle of chilled sprite! Heaven sent in this burning heat!

Anw, got tired of waiting for the truck 2 come, & i realised the mechanic prob wanted me 2 fix the mess myself. So called him, got the instructions & started work. Thanks to allan, managed 2 get the parts quick enough.

Smart rite! haha, okok, no big deal, simple job, unlike the shit i did b4 in army. But still very proud. haha.

Really drained tho... That stupid sun is really burning the whole place....

Exams over

2004-11-22T17:57:00.000+08:00

Exams are over! Over as in ended, but also mati(ie dead, finished, gonner).
had 1 really tough paper. Mainly MCq, but was enough to kill. Imagine a qns like this,

1.Which of the following is the purpose of an Accounting information system?

a.To ensure the reliability of information, to achieve the objectives of management etc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etc(lazy to type, but it was really 3-4lines long)

b. To ensure the production of reliable information etc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etc

c. To promote the accuracy of information etc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etc

d. To produce reliable information etc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etc

e. To ensure the reliability of information produced etc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etcetc etc

Wah piangZ!! How to choose!?? Anw, its over, juz hope can pass... or else really die man....

urgh~~~~~~~~

2004-11-07T17:06:00.000+08:00

Its Sunday already!! My Intro to Law paper is 2moro! HOW???
Procrastinated 2 so damn long, & I only chose 2 panic now...
IDIOT!

haha, going CooCoo, coz i'm bored stiff in library now, lets hope I'll get thru it all. Credit can already, & with abit more luck a Distinction?? haha, I'm one whos easily contented.

Counting down to the days I'm coming home! WWWOOOOOOOOHHOOOOOO~~~

Gila, haha, not that excited la. Weather so hot & humid back home, sure get pissed off easily if I'm not indoors. Will b busy since I gotta get a vacation job, or else end up taking money from parents again. Seems like these days, I'm feeling more & more conscious about taking handouts from them.... WHY??

Why cant it be like how it used 2b during pri. sch, or my teens, juz take w/o much guilt, w/o feeling paiseh. Gone were those days... Hope they notice it, then maybe they'll juz give me couple of thousands, look lovingly into my eyes & say "boy, jus take, no need 2 feel paiseh. Whats ours, is yours~~"
HAHAHAHA

Good luck to every1 with exams.
Job hunters, find 1 soon ar. & once u get a job, remember lookout for lobang for me, haha. I wanna be paid 2 do nothing.
LoBo-ers, lets lobo together!

quik update

2004-10-30T02:12:00.000+08:00

kk, quik update, things done, doing, 2b done

1) busy trying not 2 study.... its weird how some1 can procrastinate so much, even tho he's well aware of wat he shd do

2)got back my ITL assignment... 20/25.... hmm... dunno wat 2 feel... tot I cover alot of stuff, expected to get much better, haha. my frnd got 21, so i maybe its juz dat huh?? Considering I only typed it the nite b4, despite my early prep, I should feel very contented.

3)DIE, less than a wk to exams, yet I haven started much... Need to stop activity 1, & start on activity 4.

4)STUDYSTUDYSTUDY!

5)Dreaming of the trip home on more than one occasion, haha. I'm a daydreamer, so cant be helped.

6)Muz achieve activity 4

7)Muz achieve activity 6

8)Muz achieve activity 7....

& the list goes on... hopefully wun die too soon.

Have I <2>

2004-10-24T01:00:00.000+08:00

Can't really be bothered to write a proper part2 to my previous entry. I guess its because my mind's been wandering alot lately.

It seems happy not to stay put. Maybe its just being too affected by the emotions, so it does whateva it pleases now... Go dead when it wants, or suddenly being active at the wrong time. Thats just gonna make my eyebags worse..

So I shan't say more on the topic of change. Nothing much anyway. But dissecting my feelings on the upcoming trip home.

Not sure if I miss home ornot. Perhaps I've been stuck in Perth for too long? Or maybe I'm just not sure of how I'd react to things back home.

What happens if I go back, & things there change? People change, my surroundings change. Thats life I guess, but just means I'll spend my summer trying 2 adapt to something that isn't as familiar as I'd thought.

Or what if I everything's the same, but I am different. Would it be another time of self-realisation? Would I find out that I've changed for the better or for worse?

Sighs, either way, its not gonna be easy to accept... I have a natural aversion to change. Most people do, except that they get so used to it, that they just accept it.

They go along with it, most of the time not knowing why. Thinking back, I've been like that too. Just following what seems to be acceptable, losing track of what I actually want. Losing sight of who I actually am.

Most of the time, I do seem to know myself, yet I never really translate that into action. Why? I'm not too sure. Perhaps its fear of rejection. Everyone just wants to be accepted right?

Enough said, can't be bothered to think about it anymore. Just gotta take things as they come, like I always do... Btw, I'm reaching S'pore on the 23rd! shhh, those who know my parents, keep this to urself k? Its a surprise~~

Have I? <1>

2004-10-15T23:40:00.000+08:00

All started with a ICQ conversation I had in mid '03. Typing away in my room in Currie, with nothing 2 fill the temporary void I was in except the Internet. Sad, but true. It was my only means of contact with people at home. Friends I had a few then, but still too new. Everything was too new.

I had not sensed anything different about me, as I continued tapping on the keyboard. So much distance, yet my words conveyed something. Through this cold but effective way of communication, he could tell I was different.

He did not ask. He was sure, & so he told me that I had changed. His words were simple & precise, "You've changed, that's not so good".

Somehow, I was not all that surprised. I knew I wasn't radically different, but I wasn't how I used to be either. Perhaps it was the recent break-up, or a phase of adjustment 2Uni, or even just the freedom given to me in a foreign land.

It might have even been everything. The fact remained that I wasn't the same, or just that this other side of me resurfaced again. I was like a cocktail of negative thoughts & emotions. I viewed my surroundings through the eyes of a pessimist. That also gave me a gloomy sketch of the near future.

Made me think back on how I was before, during the time we knew each other in the army. How different I was back then. Army life was terrible not because of its monotony, or the endless work that had to be done.

It was so because we were treated like beings without pride & dignity. All we had was one another & we persevered. I was optimistic about things, because I knew these buddies would be there all the way.

I wasn't in such company back in mid '03. Everything was just too new & foreign. Yet it made me realise what I should do, or at least try to do. It was not easy to be optimistic though, not for me at least.

Nothing for me to feed on. Back in the days of 46SAR, the support I had fuelled my spirit & optimism... Now?? Dunno.... Time to look for something within myself I guess...

Shall continue this another day, this should b a part 1?? erm.. lets not make it a trilogy.... I'll continue & end it with another entry in a few days time...

Clarification~~~

2004-10-02T18:49:00.001+08:00

Varied responses to my last entry. Most of it being compliments. Guess every1 misses the old Adrian who'd share his tots ar? hehe. Anyway, had some pple not agreein with what I wrote.
I don't think my views are absolute truth, but I do wanna clarify some things I've said. I'm not holding an extreme viewpoint here, because there's juz too much grey areas in life.. erm... my life at least....

Altho the title of the previous entry was 'Silence', I wasnt trying to put down the extroverts. Don't be mistaken, coz all I did was write the tots I had from a particular incident, & what I had learned about myself.

I'm not saying that the outspoken are all superficial, insincere & scheming liars. I wasnt implying that all quiet & shy people were great listeners. The traits that I mentioned in my last entry were merely drawn from a personal experience.

I'm not condoning introverts, & unfriendliness. An extreme introvert juz deprives himself of friends. He'll never see things from other pple's point of view, coz he only wants 2 live in his own world & comfort zone.

The outspoken and confident express themselves clearly & articulately. If you noticed, when dealing with the slightly more reserved, such confidence would be make the other party feel uncomfortable. One of the innumerable reasons being the fact that it could be overbearing. Wouldnt this make it less likely for him/her to open up? Conversely, such confidence could also attract the like-minded, rite?

I have absolutely nothing against people who are more outgoing & outspoken than me. I can't expect every1 2b the same can I? I was merely pointing out the fact that the source of an outgoing personality can be so twisted. How it can used as a tool to not only hide one's insecurities, but also to hoodwink others with flattery.

The point is, who ever you are, whatever your personality, juz be yourself. There's no point in trying 2b some1 you are not. Some girs like quiet & shy boys, & some boys like quiet & shy girs rite?? haha~~~ so dun fret~~~

Alright, seriously, just be who you are. Whatever personality you portray, do it for the right reasons. If you're not outgoing & friendly, dont dismay, coz its just the same. You have strengths in other areas.

PS: I dun practice all that I preach... its not easy ok!

Back to how it was s'posed 2b....

2004-09-26T23:51:00.000+08:00

Ok.... I kinda realised that my blog still isn't what I wanted it 2b.... Bits & pieces of tots have not been written down... The very purpose of me having this blog was to share such tots with my frnds.

Yet, the only things I've managed to convey thru my blog are superficial fotos... I kinda lsot my direction there... The priority in the selection of details of my life got messed up... I ended up presenting what any mere stranger could have observed from the outside, & not my very inner tots....

This is not to say that I regard posting fotos as superficial. I think its juz pointless if I only show you one side of my life.... Yar, so you'll noe wats going on, how I look now, where I've been.... But you wun noe wat I'm thinking rite??

Why did it only dawn upon me now? I dunno, but it hit me as I was toking to a Best frnd, & I kept saying stuff that I felt I should have also told you pple out there. Things that I wanted 2 share, & din managed 2. Not thru MSN, ICQ, fone, or face2face communications...

It juz boils down to 1 simple thing, 'complacency'... Always never manage 2get down to doing it. So I shall start from this very moment, & hope I'll be able to push on from there....
************************************************************************************

---------

Silence

---------

This has been a great issue of confusion for me. Silence, a trait that is possessed by most individuals to varying extents. Its a really strong characteristic that I have, & sometimes I'd wish I never had.

Is it a manifestation of meekness, or that of confidence? Will it be the root of my demise, or the source of my strength? I really don't know.

I've been a quiet teenager for most of my life. Alright, not that quiet, & I've only lived for close to 24yrs, but thats not really the point. The point is, somehow I actually grew from a lively & extroverted little kid, to a teenage introvert. I had this inferiority complex thru-out secondary sch, & junior college.

Things weren't that bad, since this inferiority went well with my lack of excellent social communication skills. So I wasn't the friendliest person at 1st sight. Not the kind who could strike a conversation easily. I desired to make more friends, yet always feared it. I chose not to speak that much, coz I would end up saying the wrong things.

Yet, deep down, I knew it wasn't good for me. I din like how I was, & envied the socially oriented. I soon created 2classes of pple. The socially-oriented, who have loads of friends & were extremely popular, & the socially-incapables, who like me would juz wallow in self-pity.
(ok... I'm overly-simplifying things. They'd seem abit more severe than they should be)

Over the years, despite of that, I remained true to myself. I never tried 2b who I wasnt. I couldnt act like as if I had great 'PR' skills, or I might juz end up being too superficial. So, I was very slow in making frnds, & only a few I've made. My social circle is small, & even now, I'm lamenting about it.

However, in the absence of outstanding social skills, something good grew. While I lacked a glib tongue, I was also deprived of the opportunity of ever being superficial to my friends. Each of the friends that I've met, I communicated with sincerity. No patronising words or false flattery.

Perhaps it has never been apparent to me, but becuase of my silence, I also learned how 2listen. Instead of trying attract some1's attention, I all could offer was the ability to be quiet & listen. So over the years, I'm glad to know that my friends would pour their hearts out to me.

By listening, I was less judgemental.... A slow mouth that I was not one who was quick to comment. With all the stuff I've heard, I realised how different pple are... My silence benefitted me in 1 more way, 1 that my mom always told me of. The power of observation.

Only after goin thru a particular problem in my life currently, am I able to appreciate this gift. Observation saved me from calling the wrong person my friend. It opened my eyes to the schemes & plots of the one who appears 2b sincere. Observation protected me from the lies of the one who was out to make use of people.

Through my silence, I saw how the outspoken is trying 2 create a facade 2 hide his lowliness. How words can be so cheap so some, & they'd use it to hoodwink others. Talk isn't always a sign of confidence. For some, it is a sign of weakness & a tool of deception.

I know I would continue to lament about my lack of social skills in the days to come. For now, I'm glad that it has served me well, coz I know the silent is much stronger than the loud-mouths, & he'd prefer real frns than numerous acquaintances.

2004-09-25T23:21:00.000+08:00

A continuation of my previous foto post of my winter trip 2Swan Valley.

One of the smaller vineyards, Lancester. All it had was a small shed that doubled as a bar & sales counter. All run by juz 1 employee. Hard work?? nay, juz need 2have a glib tongue, & pays well, juz under A$20/hr. Can u imagine!!

Proceeded on to one of the bigger 1s, Sandalford~ haha, free wine tasting, how could i miss it???

Thats me at the counter, trying all the diff types of wine they have~~ hehe, its good for health u noe~~~ The Merlot was nice, was strong & not too bitter. Found the dessert wine way too sweet, how can you drink that after having dessert?? yucks.

The scenery at Sandalford's vineyard. The grape vines were bare... Not the season yet, but we managed 2 see some lavanders.

sighs... No1 wans to take a foto with me.... SEE!! They're juz trying 2 push me outta the foto!
In the end....

Unwanted, unloved.... I could only post with the tree~~ sighs.....

A nice little spot we found while exploring the compounds of Sandalford. Sat by the egde for a while, juz chatting away, & enjoying the view~~

We headed to Caversham Wildlife Park. Gotta walk around after so much 'drinking'. My frnds took lotsa pics of the animals~~ but I wun bore u with that. But as u can see,it was such a hot & lethargic afternoon... All the animals were feeling so sleepy.

Except Tazzy here~~ Full of energy when we were there. It looked kinda dumb tho, coz it kept running around in circles... Dunno y..
Oh, in case some of u still dunno, Tazzy here is a tasmanian devil! Doesnt look like the 1 in Looney Toons huh??? I realised I was cheated, when I went to Tasmania 9yrs... Stupid warner bros~~

Every1 gets to hug a wombat~~~ Cant believe there was a queue juz 2 hug this bugger~~ Juz goes 2show how boring the park was?? Look at it, muz have been so tired, aimlessly sitting there & waiting for all sorts of pple hug it... Depressing 2b a wombat in an Aussie zoo/park....

Lets support animal rights, hug the toy instead!

hhmm... I was trying 2 be stupid & play dead... but the foto turned out 2b a little suggestive..... hhmm....~~~ Do not doubt me! haha, I'm str8~!

Choc Factory (jul '04)

2004-09-16T19:42:00.000+08:00

Our 1st stop, the choc factory. Its at Swan Valley, not magaret river... So i assume it prob has a bigger facotry in Margaret river???

Free choc Samples!! haha, obviously i grabbed the dark chocs

So much variety, all so delectable.... how can one ever take them all??

Nownow, this looks muchmuch better~~~ endless world of Cherry Liqueur chocs!!!

They have ice-cream too!! See the most beautiful & delicious looking1?? the middle-right, choc obession. Rich choc icecream with cherry brandy & choc pieces! how to tahan?? muz buy!

AaaahhhH~~~ sedap! Totally indulging in me icecream. It's as if its from another world~~~

They make jam too.. .Watca see here is Raspberry &... eww... weird sia, Brinjal Pickle.... wat kinda jam is dat! yucks!

Fatfatfat baby! Lotsa meat~~ would be nice for BBQ, haha.

I wanna work inside!! Then I'd be able to smuggle chocs home everyday.

Pea Brain

2004-09-16T01:48:00.000+08:00

My week hasnt been that fantastic. How great can things be when I've got mid-sems after after mid-sems.... Each time I finish 1, I don't even feel free.... Its like the torture has juz started...

K, I shan't whine anymore, not gonna help things anw. So I juz take things as they come, do what I can... Yet, tings still seem 2 go against me. Got back my Biz Computing assignment.. It was last min work, done the nite b4. But come on, it wasnt that bad... Why did I get only 55%??

"Design & idea good. But gotta spend more time on improving functionality". Thats the comment the lecturer gave.. Sounded so much like he juz passed me due to the fact that I actually bothered to hand up the assignment. Probably would've gotten 49, but juz gimme additional

2marks for effort
2marks color printed graphics
2mark for writing my name

................

So I felt worse, esp after that lousy Biz Com mid sem earlier in the afternoon... Couldn't go on like that could I?? Had to find ways to make myself feel better, & guess wat? I did!

My frnd got Hungry Jacks vouchers from the mail, so used it as an excuse to go out to eat. She needed a break from all those exams as well. So every1 went. Btw, Hungry Jacks is the Aussie Burger King. Exactly the same, a weird story on why its a diff name, & I wun go into that.. The meal was soso, its OinOinOin, Hungry Jacks, I dun like dat!(if u dun geddit, nvm, its a lame ad anw)

Then Qiuling said, "You noe wats life? Its life when after eating, we go across the street for some Baskin Robbins." She giggled to herself, & I juz said SURE. So all 5 of us went over. Like a bunch of kids, we were ogling at the variety of ice-creams. Naturally, I only had my eyes set on all things chocolate.

I asked to sample 'World Class Chocs', which was a twirl of dark choc & white choc. Divine! So I bought a cup, and ate it on the way home~~

Ok, I still feel sucky about the results, but the ice-cream did take my mind off it for quite awhile. Life's great when there's good food & dessert ar? Gonna be eating DimSum 2moro, juz before Sernwei leaves for the airport. Long time since I last ate DimSum.

Oh, did you know that its actually called 'DimSim' by caucasian Aussies?? Likethose frozen 1s u find at the supermarket, they're laballed DimSim.... Tolong la, if i try 2 pronounce your names properly, can you at least get the names of our food rite??? its DimSum(or DianXin)!

Now its time for even more work. Mid sems this coming Mon, & assignments during the break. How EXCITING!!

whos rules?

2004-09-13T01:33:00.000+08:00

Give up...... Sighs...

Try & try & try.... Time after time after time....

Can you blame me for being cynical? Can you blame me for being so self-righteously negative about certain things?

NO you can't. Reality & facts of life just proves my point.

Human relationships are essentially fragile. Those between couples, family, colleagues & acquaintances definitely fit. No matter how much effort you put in, surface cracks will always appear. What more can be said of friendships.

After so many years, it doesn't seem to be bored.... All it ever does is repeat that cycle.... Its like this sickening irritating child that will juz keep bugging you. It'll be there to remind you of its presence, yet it's heart isn't really there. When this sick SOB eventually decides to end physical bugging, it'll still nag at you with its whining...

Promises of efforts to maintain.... Words of comfort that are too late... Half-hearted offers of help & advise... Desperate attempts to make up conversation... Awkward hi-byes.. Eventually avoiding eye contact..... That's how its always been, that's how its gonna be.

The attempts are so draining, its continual only kept alive by a naive belief of the dreamer... Time after time, he pauses to rest from fatigue.... His heart has so often caved in, yet you still push on, feeding off your naivity....

Cant you see my logic? Haven't I proven enough to you? We've struggled so much, and each time, I'm proven right. Why don't you just accept that my cynicism will triumph over your emotions. End this hopeless fight... Emotions get you nowhere, except the pain from being burnt.....

Stop trying, the end result will be the same. You'll juz start feeling disappointed that facts remain facts, & ideals impossible. People say friends come and go, only a precious few stay?? I know that the "precious few" aren't staying, they just appear to be. They are merely going at another day.... Join me.... Be void of those emotions and believe in the cold, hard reality...

2004-09-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

I'm back! For those who were nice enuff to ask, I've been "busy" with work....
Mid sems coming all at once.... Kinda panicked coz I've been lagging in all my work.... Juz completed 1 2day, and not sleeping the entire nite, coz got an assignment due on Tues......

Thats not the end, nex Wed, got 1 midsem, following Mon, another midsem.... sighs...
Somehow it doesnt seem to end....

Things kinda went bad for me over the wkend... Felt horrible when i woke up on sun.... Whole body weak and aching..... The kinda feeling u get when ur down with fever flu & cough.. Know how it feels?? That was the exact thing i was feeling.... Quite worried, coz I seldom fall sick, & if i ever do, its always a big 1..... & this is the worse time 2fall sick, with all the work i gotta cover...

the worse thing was, pple who saw me din even notice anything wrong with me, even tho I was quiet & felt sucky, & my face definitely din hide that.... Sighs... juz goes to show that Nobody Loves Adrian.... 8^(

How unloved & unnoticed I felt at the end of the day.. sighs....

& its too late 2 ask NOW!! all of u shall be remembered!! Judgement will come upon YOU! I shall have my avengence upon you all one day!! muahahahaha

Anw, wun be bloggin till this Wed or Thurs.. but i'll post more backdated fotos....

oh, sorry, haven taken any fotos of my new cut~~ haha, and think its growing back~~ too bad

2004-08-26T14:10:00.000+08:00

The famous fish and chips place, it has a sign that proudly declares "Cicerollo. WA NO.1 Fish and Chips"

Kaili's, rite nex 2 Cicerello, kinda heard good comments bout it, so we decide 2giv it a shot dis time

Time for food~~ Eileen's seafood chowder~~ abit small, hehe, but still looks not bad

Squid Rings!~~~ Now u see it

now you DUN!

mindy, i'm a nice person~~ so i shall not post up all the fotos i took of ur NATURAL, non-FOTO face~ haha, here's one where u look quite stylo~~~

watca about to see is CHAIN PHOTOGRAPHY~~~
1-Me taking a foto of -->
Aloy:

2-Aloy taking a foto of -->
Every1 Else:

Me inside the pic, trying 2 take a foto of -->
My LEGS:

haha, lamelamelame~~~ but this chain fotography is really interesting ar?? haha, we took lotsa pics of 1another taking pics of 1another~~ haha~~

Stupid Sim, hahaha, if only i could really kick u down~~ kidding~~ 8^)

Misc scenes~~

no FUN......

2004-08-23T22:22:00.000+08:00

hhmmm... kinda got psycho-ed to go for Mambo Red last thurs.... Really quite reluctant initially. My previous experience there wasnt too exciting... Perhaps Mambo in perth is juz like dat... dull....

I've also kinda stopped clubbing for yrs. Think I grew outta it... or maybe I'm juz old... I dun seem 2 get any kicks outta clubbing. At least, not as much as I used to. It could be the company, or could juz be me, growing old.

Anw, Sernwei eventually psycho-ed me to go, offering to pay for me~~ & they said they got some DJ from S'pore, so the Mambo music will be up-to-standard... Wadda heck~ juz gave it a shot...

But I was met with disappointment... Think the crowd in perth dun like Mambo kinda music... & perhaps that music is passe.... aya.. old already.... The ground level dance floor was virtually empty, despite great Mambo songs~~ I was trying to get fellow Mambo-goers to try fill up the dance floor, but they its difficult...

Eventually they gave in to the popular choice of RnB upstairs... Maybe its juz that I had great times dancing to Mambo, so I dun feel much for RnB... Sentimental? Stubborn?? I dunno....

When it started to get crowded, I was quite excited.. but by the time i pulled myself outta the RnB crowd, NO MORE MAMBO......... the DJ left and they were gonna play trance till the end... argh!!

For the uninitiated, Mambo Night in S'pore is on Wed, at Zouk. Its a nice mixture of a variety of music such as trance, techno, and house. But those are nothing... The climax and main focus is Retro and Top40...

But the last time i heard, its attracting a weird crowd... and the crowd seem 2get younger and younger.. hmm... Really getting mixed comments here.. some tell me Mambo music is for kids.. others say its out....

Either way, doesnt matter.... Clubbing isnt the focus now... I dun get excited when pple ask me to go clubbing... Guess I'm outta that phase... but I do miss it tho.. the fun times I had with my frnds. Esp those times with my army buds~~~ Those were the days..

Anw, I'm gonna be posting more pics soon.... all the backdated 1s... Not a foto-whore! juz wanna keep u updated dats all~~~ 8^)

FreO SnapShots

2004-08-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

Taken in early july, when iwas there with Serene, Sim and SengYee

Snip Snip

2004-08-09T10:38:00.000+08:00

Its Official! Adrian's finally chopped off his hair!

Its a real heartache.... My precious tresses(yaryar, some of u might wanna call it mane.... I dun care). But its really so short now...... Not in the general sense, but comparatively speaking, its really short....

& I've got probs trying 2 style... The hairdresser was nice enuff to show me 3ways of styling my hair... but she went to fast, I could only register the info into my short term memory bank.... Info overload....

Now harbis already... She did a quite nice haircut for me.. but i dunno how 2 bring it out... haha, Gonna let Qiuling experiment with it later~~ see how i can style~~~ hopfully can re-create the look the hairdresser gave me~~

I'll post fotos of my new short hair soon..... For now, I'll still continue posting pics from winter hols.... When i still had my long hair.... Try to keep memories of it~~~ haha!

On the bright side, my head does feel lighter rite now~~~ & less visual obstruction~~ & pple say I look more refreshed~~ hmm.... wonder if thats juz a patronising comment~~~

Even if it was, I cant do much about it, unless I go for hair-extension~~ NOT! Juz a tot la, think I'm really so crazy meh.. no $$ la~~~ at most cut botak only~~~~ back to army days~~~

Fotos: Stuff in freO

2004-08-07T15:02:00.000+08:00

Fotos taken during Winter hols... Think it was the 1st few days of July. At FreO, lunching at some cosy cafe.

Lunch at SegaFredo's Madonna

kk, nothing fanciful, juz cheap & nice housepour

Serene's Vege Pasta. Lotsa lotsa CHEESE! Delectable appearance & delicious sauce. It was finished with some help tho..

SengYee's chicken sandwich~~ hmm.. apparently he doesnt have a penchant for avocado~ yucks~~

mines the best! Rump Steak. nice juicy medium rare steak on top, cushioned by grilled tomato & mash potato.~~~ SeDap~~~

wah! SengYee looks so moody, and lost in his own world~~ cool sia~~~

My fellow sister~~~

the place's called Madonna, own by SegaFredo, the same company that owns Tiamo at Hampden... the layout and atmosphere very similar. Relaxed and Cosy

A very amusing musical box I saw in the FreO Mkt. The figurines will dance(more like spin) around with the music~~ haha, it got me glued to it for about 5mins~~

Nice little Shop in FreO

Serene's checking out the ultra long and thin pencils, while I'm trying 2 squeeze into the foto~~

Some toys i saw in the shop. The pic at the bottom left is this mechanical music box which u gotta wind urself. Has various tunes, like Waltzing Matilda, Wedding March, etcetc.
The bottom right is aptly named "Adam & StEVE", haha!! Any1 wans?? I can buy it and bring it back to S'pore for u~~~ hehe.

The nice little shop in FreO, lotsa interesting toys and gadgets.

haha, bored la, so take a self-pic~~~ my hair color changes under diff lighting. Interesting~~~

Song posting 孤单北半球

2004-08-05T12:18:00.000+08:00

This song's been in my head the past few days... erm.. well, maybe "weeks" would be more accurate. When i heard it last mth, tot it had too kiddish & dreamy a feel to it. However, its those kinda songs that seems to get better each time u listen 2 it, and so now its playing all the time on my com, in the car, when i'm walking(I whistle it).

Jialats man.... my frnds are getting sick of it~~~ David's beginning to develop some degree of irritation to it. Rebecca noes wat song its gonan be when i start to sing or whistle, haha!! Too bad~~~ Its gonna be there until the nex song comes along~~

In case u din noe, the link to the song is on the menu on the right. Very small, only about 300+kb. So sacrificed some quality for it 2b smaller. do listen 2 it k?? 8^)

Some photos from winter Hols

2004-08-03T18:17:00.000+08:00

Juz a couple of fotos from winter hols.... finally decided to start posting some.. otherwise i'll nv do it ....

In the beginning there were 3... then only 2 were left...

These were taken on the day June fly back to S'pore... sadsad... frnds juz gotta leave.... sonner or later....

Trying to Rem how it looks like...

snapshots of UWA... well.. there're somemore.. but lazy to post, quite blurred too, so not much pt

that teddy bear's not mine! its serene's, coz i gave up my room to her for a couple of days... oh, but the 4eva frnds bedroom slippers are mine now, hehe, stuff that some pple dun wanna bring back to S'pore.... I'm like a garbage dump... urgh!

juz a pic taken by serene while i was driving~~ the balding trees kinda look nice, haha

hmm... thats it for now... still have lots more fotos to show... I'll do it in a few days time... In the meantime, hope i get thru sch peacefully, & may my Dreams Come True?? hehe

I'm not dead, juz lazy

2004-07-27T23:37:00.000+08:00

Been MIA(missing in action) for a couple of wks... My com was down... and so was my mood... Not that I din get used 2 it.. but Sucked when i realised i made the wrong judgement and spent $155 trying 2 replace my motherboard....

Serves me rite for having an itchy backside... In the end, juz gave up, sent it to the nearby com shop, paid $44 for consult, and wasted $43 & a few days of time searching for a cheap pwr supply...

But even now that its up, I'm still lagging in my blogging... Supposed 2 post some photos taken during the winter hols... been procrastinating on it.....

& its not like i'm busy with sch work.... tho I'm doing some... but not really anything veryvery substantial.... u noe me.... that kinda nonchalant, bochup, cant be bothered, TiDaArPa attitude towards sch work...

wondering if I shd pack up my schedule, to force myself to work.... When there's lesser leeway for myself, and no room to "over-relax", I'll definitely do better.... Worked well in the army.... So contemplating on whether to find a temp job.... but then again, if i've totally lost that workaholic attitude i had, then by doing so, I'd juz b digging a grave for myself rite....

hmm..... see how things go... they always fall into place sooner or later... haha

I've promised myself that i'll buck up this sem... coz cant really afford to slack anymore. & perhaps it helps that i find my Corp Accting lecturer interesting, outta the other boring 1s. Kinda saving grace for UWA?? haha. Nick Newby, a queer and eccentric guy.... the mad scientist type.

But I like his outlook and perception of things. Very cynical. Really can understand how he feels about stuff. Tho I've slowly moved away and trying 2b less cynical, deep down, I'm still pretty much the same. Prob why sometimes hard to make frnds with pple? and also prob why i tend 2 offend pple unintentionally...

Anw, a couple of frnds here are falling ill.... not very good sign of things... but at least they make use of their health cover... Unlike me, whom the healthcare company depends on to fund all the rest of their claims..... Making barley water for them, hope they can recover soon.. too much heaty food back in s'pore la....

ok, enuff said.. not in the mood to blog much... juz bloggin 2 show that i'm still alive....... I'll write more when I crawl outta my procrastination....

BeYOTCH!!!

2004-07-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

Wah!! Thinking of this again makes my blood boil! @#%@#&)#$&@

B4 i start on the story, here some info on wat i've been up to the past few days. Been contemplating on my majors, and finally made up my mind. Now u gotta admit that this is really a rare occasion. Adrian has set the direction he wans in his studies... hmm.. now how many times do u ever see that... 1st time in the past 23yrs???

Anw, I've decided that I wanna do a triple major, namely:

1. Financial Accting(with CPA accreditation)
2. Finance(Corporate)
3. Information Management

However, in order to do that, I realised after much planning, that i had to overload in the coming sem. So I had to walk down to the office to ask.. and i din carry much hope, coz my avg for this sem is a mere 62%, below the 65% criteria for overload...

& so the story begins when i stepped into the office. The moment when my turn came, I knew it wasnt good coz I was being served by this Indian lady. Its been said that she isnt the warm and frnly type.

So I gave her my student no, she checked in on the sys, and

Bloody Indian Lady(BIL):"NO, its below 65%, we cant let u overload."
ME:"But I've juz decided on my majors, and I need to overload this coming sem"
BIL:"NO, its 62%, below the 65% requirement, we cant let u overlaod"
ME:"But its juz 3%, and I did much better last sem, couldnt my case be given some consideration?
BIL:"NO, we only wanna see the previous sem's results. We dun care wat results u got in other sem, be it 2yrs ago or 3yrs ago, its not relavant"
ME(in my head):"narbay, u noe wats last sem, thats juz half a yr ago u @#($%&@#%(&"
ME:"its juz half a yr ago, well, then could i at least speak to Paul about it?"
BIL:"NO, I tell u that Paul will say the same thing. Dun waste his time, he's very busy these days."
ME:"well, if i cant overload, is there any way for me to do my 3rd major?"
BIL:"u figure it out urself. after u fulfill all ur required pts, u'll grad and we'll kick outta the sch even if u do 1 more unit for the major."
Paul Leod is my faculty dean, and walks out at this moment
BIL(rather loudly):"Paul! this young man here only got 62% and wanna overload."
Paul(smiles):"well, I cant let u do it this sem, perhaps u could consider it other sems when ur results improve"

I'm obviously very disappointted, and fucking pissed by this bloody indian, who seems to wanna throw more of her I'm-the-big-shot-here attitude

BIL:"See! There you go, I told you so."
ME:"sighs.. ok, thanks..."
BIL:"Nex!"

@(%&@$(&# Thru out the time, she din even smile abit. & gave me the wadda-hell-u-wan look, like as if I'm a vermin. & she had to shout, like as if I like my 62% to be told to the whole world. There was lotsa pple there too... but there wasnt much embarrassment, coz how much of that can u feel when her bloody attitude was so overwhelmingly suffocating. KNNBCC. No offense to indians, but really cant stand this BEYOTCH!!!
All the words so used are so hostile.... NARBAY!!!! argh!!!!!

Youth and age......

2004-07-10T01:26:00.000+08:00

I've nv really considered the possibility of seeing a frnd depart this world.. Nv in a serious manner at least. However, the tot struck me about a yr or so ago. My frnd was feeling a little low. It appears that his dad was going thru tremendous sorrow, having seen a close frnd pass away.

His dad, around age 50-60, was a typical S'porean Chinese. He din have any huge business empire, nor did he make frequen overseas trips. He was very home based person, very much like most of us. He had to see a frnd go... Some1 he would have seen around in town and often keep in touch with.

The pain stemmed not from any kinda emotional distance, but from the very element that every1's taken for granted, and which is not within our ctrl ... Time.... The tot of drifting away from frnds is enuff to make me feel depressed, wat more would the sight of my best frnds, close frnds, and good frnds dying b4 me do?

I always lament about how some frnds often tend to drift apart because they never put in any effort to catch up with 1another. Busy working lives, personal commitments, complacency & awkwardness are the common excuses and reasons. Even if you managed against all odds to remain close thru-out your lives, the frnship would inevitably come to an end, like in the case of my frnd's dad.

So in reality, the concept Forever Friends is an utter load of rubbish. Its only right from now on that soft toys with the "Forever Friends" slogan on it, shd also come attached with fine prints

Forever is an astract term. At the very best, friends only last till death

Bakc on a serious note, I naturally fell into a state of self examination.... I have to face such a situation sooner than i think. 10 years would past very soon, so would 20 and 30... Besides trying to my best to maintain my bond with my frnds, perhaps I shd also change my nonchalant attitude towards time & life?? After all, if it not within my ctrl, then the best I could was to fully make use of time.

Yet I've nv really cherished time as it was. The very obvious part is my youth. Since sec1, I've nv really done anything substantially significant. I actually slept my days away thruout secondary sch, and hang out occasionally in town... I was not a outstanding student, nor was I any happening rebellious teen. Come to think of it, I was juz mediocre.

Juz last nite, me and a bunch of frnds chanced upon this lady in her 50s. She was obviously a little high on alcohol, and was searching for her husband and kids. She made some silly comment about losing them, and was describing them to us. We laugh 2gether with her at her situation, and b4 she left, she threw a word of advice. "Enjoy ur time, i was your age once, i noe, enjoy ur days as much as u can."

Again, I was thrown into deep tot... so many times, I've been told to treasure my youth.. Even now, past my teen yrs, as a young adult, I'm shown this... Everyday, I'm always told of how time passes unknowningly, b4 I noe it, I've already spent 1yr in perth as a uni student.

Its time to live the moment, and experience every ounce of happiness, sorrow and pain. Yet, as much as I can remind myself(for umpteen times), I'll still end up taking time for granted. Soon, I'll juz drift along in life, as I've always done so....

dreams... hmmm

2004-07-08T22:31:00.000+08:00

We all have dreams dont we? Dreams of how our lives in the future would be. How you'd spend your lives with your families and your other half. Yet, dreams often never really come true..

Not that there's some kinda universal truth that restricts dreams to the imaginary realm.. Its juz dat reality is very often too complicated.

You may dream of how you and your other half would spend ur free time strolling the beach hand in hand. The soft sand cushions your steps, both your footprints pressed into the sands of time. The sea breeze flows thru her wavy hair. !!bbzzzz!!! Nex thing u noe, her hair's gets into your face, and the beach is littered with stones, broken seashells, and rubbish.

Anyway, like I said, dreams are often too unrealistic. Lets tok about my dreams... How many pple in this world can actually live a comfortable live and hold a stress free job, with a stable income??

How many pple in this world can actually have a house in the city, but still afford to own getaway houses up in the mountains & by the beach. When the kids are away for wateva kinda sch camp, me and my other half can relax in our getaway hse. L

I wan a hse with a nice indoor pool, so no need to go to public pools to squeeze. A big spacious bedroom, with a Queen sized bed, cosy walk-in wardrobe. Bathroom with shower and tub, and a separate toilet(dun think i wanna have the smell of my own poo linger when i bath rite?).
A landscaped Zen garden. A huge kitchen with all the latest kitchen accesories. An entertainment room with all the state of the art stuff. I dream about it, but thats all it is... a dream....

Pple say that dreams can be the source of motivation, but can it really be?? Especially when you know how unrealistic and unattainable it really is?

Ok, so maybe dreams are juz something for every1 to hold on to. Someting that'll keep you going. The light at the end of the tunnel. & w/o such a goal, you could land up somewhere worse? But wun you juz feel worse when the gap btwn reality and dreams is so wide?

Well, by now u prob can tell how pessimistic I am. Oh well, thats me. I'm still go on dreaming, day and nite. I'll do wat i can to make them come true, but I'll still stay firm on the ground, close to reality... Which means when that gap isnt filled, I'll shove in a couple of old and good frnds in, so things will seem nicer, any volunteers??? 8^)

Parting.... sighs....

2004-07-01T23:14:00.000+08:00

Hate that feeling.... Yet, its esp strong the past wk..... I've already been to the airport for 4times.... Outta which, 3 was to send graduating frnds away....

Perhaps the fact that my frnds are graduating is more difficult to sink in because I'm studying overseas.... Frnds leave.. and I'm in another place, carrying out my remaining yrs.... Meet ups would be so difficult....

For Rebecca, if she doesnt come back, I'll prob only get to see her once a yr?? Its already been like dat when she left to come UWA, sighs.. and now it'll be another 2yrs where me and my best frnd are gonan be separated...

For Raymond.hk.... Despite the introduction of budget airlines, cheap airfares still dun help... It's almost certain that I'd not go to HongKong in the near future... He did say he's coming over during CNY period... but then again, who noes... The future is so unexpected... He might suddenly land a job that is extremly time-consuming.... I'll prob nv ever see him again after that parting.. Glad I took a pic with him... at least some memories..

June & Serene... sighs.. another good frnd gone back to s'pore.. 1 less sister liao... had so much fun 2gether... and as much as we say we'll meet up, and we all noe we would, but we also agree that things will nv b the same again.. Nv like how it used 2b... Not as carefree, more commitments... sighs... Have to make the best outta the remaining days b4 Serene goes back...

Nex sem will be juz as bad... Sernwei and Allan graduating... sighs... lesser and lesser pple whom I can tok to..... How to survive in Perth?? Tell me la~~~ Habis la.....

If I was studying in S'pore, its prob not so bad, since its easier to meet up, even during sch days... but over in aus?? sighs... Its juz much harder to see frnds leave... perhaps I shd juz be more practical and make frnds who grad 2gether with me, juz for the sake of companionship?? Nay.... not me....

tired.... dun wanna think so much liao~~~~ Life goes on.... but emotions are part and parcel of life too rite??..... sighs....

Long Awaited Fotos from Pinnacles

2004-06-26T20:12:00.000+08:00

fotos galore~~! loads and loads of them~~~ well.. not loads... coz there're much more in my com... but kinda stupid to post everything up rite?? and troublesome too

The bustrip~~

Sorching sun.... no need for camera flash~~~

Welcome Welcome

Those are some clueless tourist who were dropped off by the 4wd. haha, confirm get lost!

Take scenic fotos, but beware of the Foto Lurker

Occasianally, he'll pose with a great face~!

Weird

Alright, lets take a decent 1

Nuts

ArloArlo! Rain stop already..... pls keep ur umbrella~~

I'm short....

No I'm not that short! Raymond.hk had to find a stone to stand on... urgh....

Cool~~ NOT

strong wind blowing the long flowy hair, against a nice backdrop. Sadly, the scringed up face doesnt make good poster material...

Group Foto~~

Finally, every1 manages to contain their "excitement" and take some orderly grp pics

You sure its a Desert??

yar... somehow, it drizzled on the day we were there.... how lucky to experience rain in a desert...

Desert Sand..

Watca expect?? DUH!

& some stones and rocks of course

ooo~~ huge 1s too!
... vast land of sand........ We were in there for hrs..

Figuring the way out~

Boundless Pinnacles Desert

Piangz... so big... no road signs.... wonder if we're lost.... Great view tho~

Take a Break Under the Shade

The heat is making my face all scringed up......

Biggest Dildo in the World!

Along the way, we found the biggest dildo in the world. & some1 juz couldnt resist it!
Hugz!!

hmmm... Poor imitation.....

Teeny Weeny Puny

It muz be pondering "Am i growing huh!? Donch you see, taller by 2mm~ Rite rite!? U see it donch u??"

Tok to THE HAND

haha, dunno how this pic was taken, and dunno why we were in such a pose... haha! sure looks like we're quarreling.
NOTE: the duck's tail that's growing at the back of my head...

Time 2 go

Its time to head off to find the bus, and make our way home. Real long ardous unknown journey back...

Are we there yet???? Are we there yet??

long straight hilly roads... nv noe where the hell you are....

Always time for Ice-Cream

Stopped at some florist shop along the way... Muz be some tourist money sucking spot..
But Ice-Cream.. hmm.... wat the heck!

the emptiness......

2004-06-21T10:53:00.000+08:00

argh!!! my com juz blacked out on me on sat nite..... For reasons unknown to me, the scrn juz blacked out, and the com din response at all... Tried shutting off the main pwr, and turning it on again, but i was met with total inactivity.

It usually shd go thru that whole noise thing during start up followed by a beep. But now, the Desktop juz freezes.... the Pwr/Reset button only helps to turn it on, not off.. the CD-rom drives dun even response when i press the eject button..... !@#$@)#$&

These past few days have been horrible... Only now I realised how my life is so greatly intertwined with the internet.... I feel totally disconnected from the rest of the world.... So wat if I've got my handfone?? I can only tok 2 1 person at a time... and its usually some1 in aus... thats really worse coz I dun have many pple I can tok to over the fone...

Before the internet was so widely used, Handfones were the thing... Rem how u felt when ur handfone failed u?? when the batt went flat, or when u lost it and all the fone nos. u had inside...... bloody hell!! this is worse.... I cant blog freely, I cant surf, I cant chat.... piangz eh...

Lotsa pple have offered to lend me their laptops, & I'm grateful. But sad to say, the feeling is different.... All my mp3s, MTVs, movies, pictures are all in there.... sighs.....

My room has very heavy feel to it... Staying in it juz makes me feel worse... argh!!! Sernwei and allan tell me, it could be that some1 hacked into my com, or could be a virus attack... whichever it is... its definitely hardware stuff.... gotta conc on my exams now... Will fix it when exams are over... hopefully can do it myself... therwise gotta pay some smart aleck Aussie in the nearby com shop to do it.....

Even was kidding to David yest that maybe I should bring it to church, and at the end of service, bring it to the pastor, and ask every1 to pray for it... haha!! Imagine every1 coming forth and placing their hands on my desktop, and praying!! haha!!! Weird!!

sighs... if any1 of u noes any frnds who are really really good at such stuff, do help me ask ok?? at least it'll save me some time in trying to remedy it....

anyway, if u've juz came back from overseas holidaying, ICT, or wateva, do read back on some of my previous posts... lazy to repeat, and cant even do that coz no com..... I'll do the picture posting soon, once the com is up..... if it will be up... sighs..

no wonder.....

2004-06-16T23:47:00.000+08:00

Now I know why I haven been able to blog about anything interesting or tot-provoking....
Its coz.....

I AM LAZY!!! LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY!!!

Not dat it's anything surprising aye.... I've been a lazy bumming complacent slacker (yes, I'm reiterating, emphasising, restating, repeating.... in case u dun get me...) most of my life. "Not all??" you say... well, not all, few yrs ago, I was quite a driven workaholic for some unknown reasons even to myself. anw, thats besides the point.

I actually do have issues and stuff that I feel strongly about... And before u go "wat kinda issues would u have?? Gotta be joking rite", I'm not kidding. Not mundane things like the eye candies I've seen, or gossips, or even whining about life...

Even tho I wanna write about it, moreoften than not, I end up chucking it aside. It's like a flashing moment of mental chaos and intellectual stimuli, and then its back to accepting life as it seems.....

You know how sometimes, at the moment, u feel strongly about something, but when u turn ur back, it juz doesnt seem that significant anymore?? Everything juz seems like a load of crap, and u go on dragging ur feet to get through life...

That isnt very good... Somehow I feel its gonna kill my brain... I've realised that my brain doesnt seem 2b as active as it was 7-8 yrs ago.... Perhaps its because during those adolescent years, one wuold tend to ponder over many things? Or maybe its juz dat I'm really really brain-lazy rite now...

Even worse would be that I've become a stubborn adult who believes that he's figured it all out, and has attained a level of maturity to judge pple. Everything juz seems lowly inferior to me?? I hope not, coz self-righteousness is too dangerous and isolating for any individual, esp for me....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Something else I'd like to share. My mom called and actually told me I could go home if I wanted to, and she'll sponsor. However, it seemed more like a half-hearted offer than a sincere and motherly gesture . This was coz she later added that it does seem kinda troublesome and pointless for me to go back, esp since the house is under renovation(upgrading by HDB)... urgh...

I tot over it, and decided that its best I dun fly home for the upcoming hols, altho my heart really longs for it. I'm prob gonna spend more $$ back home when I'm busy meeting up with frnds. On top of that, I still have2 pay the empty rent here.... & I did tell myself that I'd fly back this hols if the budget airline was up, so since its still in process, prob juz means I shdnt fly home.

Thats a confirmation, Adrian's only gonna be home at the end of the yr. For those frnds who are really irritated by my presence, you shd be glad?? hahaha

46 Bronco~ Thru Thick & Thin~~~ w/o me for now....

2004-06-13T23:24:00.000+08:00

oh man.... all my memories of life in my army unit are coming back again... Fond memories of days when every1 stuck up for 1another. The days I went thru with my fellow sergeants, be it good or bad, are still so fresh in my head. That pain from all the suffering, & the warmth that ur camaraderies give u when they're there, are all so vivid. We all formed eternal bonds thru hardship.

Guess some of you already noe that 46SAR was an extremely ill-managed battalion(i do whine quite abit aye). Chain of commands are broken all the time, even by the authorities themselves. Lack of cohesion among the different ranks. Inconsistent instructions and orders. Trust me, the list goes on. No 1 was at fault, it was the sys, and most of the men were still veryvery immature. If u think army makes men outta boys, think again. It only makes men outta boys who wanna grow up.

I'm not being egoistic or self-centred by critising those above and below me, but the situation was so. The men wun work, and the superiors din lead. In the end, the middle management does it all. Yet, in those times of adversity(woo.. sounds kinda exageratting), all the Comds stuck 2gether...

When our men failed us, we backed up 1 another. When our superiors failed us, we all fell 2gether. We gave every1 the helping hand they needed. Some lost their strength and will to go on, some juz lost hope. But at the end of it all, every1 tried. I could nv be more proud of any1 than these pple.

Its been a yr since I ORD... A day after this faithful day, my army buds are all gonna meet up back in camp. As much I desire it, I am not able to join them. I can imagine how reluctant they are to go back, yet also excited at the same time, excited at the chance of meeting each other again. I know that they're worried about how the sys is gonna let them down again, and how history would repeat itself. However, I also noe that deep within, they noe that they have 1another to count on. This may sound ludicrous, even to myself, but I sincerely wanna do reservist. At least my heart tells me so.

Going thru it with friends whom you've grown to trust and depend on over 2yrs, rather than with a bunch of strangers. Perhaps I'm juz stubborn, and dun wanna move on, but its juz how I feel... The bonds have been forged, how am I to let go so easily...

Reality bites... Its staring right at me, and I've gotta face it... I'll nv be able to brave thru mountainous tracks with my band of brothers again... Those days will live 4eva as memories... Mere memories....

Really muz go for Hair Cut.....

2004-06-09T20:04:00.000+08:00

Yest, juz saw the disaster I've been sporting at the back of my head.... My hair is really horrible from the back!!!! I seem to have a duck's tail sticking out from my neck... piangz.....

But prob serve me right for not cutting for nearly 4mths??? haha!! If I manage to tolerate it, I'll prob go for a cut after my exams.... If not then maybe b4 this sat.... These are the times when I wished I had a Digicam... then I'd be able to show u how hideous it looks... piangz....

Oh, btw, any1 can suggest wat kinda hairstyle i shd try??? I dun wanna cut it short(as in spiked) that soon.... haha, took me time to grow it leh.... I noe most of u dun post comments here & always end up msging me. Do it any way u wan lor, as long as I get ur ideas~~ 8^)

To those in UWA, Good luck for your exams ar~~ My army buds, enjoy ICT... I really wished I was there.~~ Frnds in S'pore, enjoy ur hols!~~ To myself.... eh.... try not to miss home????

Exams Coming!!!

2004-06-06T00:35:00.000+08:00

argh! Exams are so NEAR! I can already picture the scene where I'll be walking into the exam venue, all jittery and lost.... chamz.... but still there isnt any sense of urgency, and I dun feel that impending fear.... Really too immune to such stuff... not good for me... and it doesnt help that I'm not stupid.

I'm not saying I'm really bright or inteliigent, but over the years I've realised that I smart enough to survive academically with minimal effort. I'd still flunk w/o any effort, but if I put in that little bit, I still manage to pass. I'm not smart enough 2b a genius, but I too smart for my own good... Kinda complements(or help breed)my complacent attitude.... haha! I'm a gonner!

Actually had these few stuff I wanted to do for the blog :

-change a new song
-post up pictures from my trip to the Pinnacles desert(went around early May)
-fine tune html coding, so I can get blogspot's comment function out

oh well, only managed the 1st, coz this song has been in my head the past few days.... Ju replaying and replaying and replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying & replaying
You get the picture rite? if not here's a better written illustration of my mental state,

Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~ Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of every1~

haha, its a nice song~~~ din noe it was by Jet, esp when I only knew one of their songs "Are You Gonna Be My Girl".
oh well, enjoy it~~ Off to sleep now~~

I'm scarred!!!

2004-05-29T22:33:00.000+08:00

argh..... Now I can fully appreaciate the effort and work of housewifes and moms. Was cooking on fri, and one of the dishes was fried meat balls. These arent the ones which u buy right of the shelf, all ready made. Painstakingly marinated mince pork, and shaped them by hand, slowly dropping them into the wok. Everything was going well..... However, at the end, while making the last batch, something happened.....
"POP!!" Instantly I saw one of the meat balls burst, and oil flying towards my face. Instinctively, I attempted to dodge, and closed my eyes. However, I was too slow.... The oil got me.... My eyes....

Alright, not dat serious. I'm not blind, but I almost WAS! The drop of oil burnt the skin juz above my eyelids. There's now a hideous little spot there.... argh!!! But the consolation was that my hsemates said the meatballs were fantastic!! hmm... hope it was coz of the taste, and not coz they saw the effort i put in. I dun like pple patronising me k....